This Thing of Ours
by bosswoman88
Summary: A family emergency throws Deacon and Rayna together on a road trip, and gets Rayna wondering if she's making the right choices.
1. Chapter 1

Rayna paced in front of the window anxiously.

"Just sit down," Tandy said, not even looking up from where she sitting on the sofa engrossed in her monthly reports.

"I can't. I haven't seen Maddie in two weeks. She's never been gone that long before. She won't even talk to me on the phone or answer my messages. "

Maddie was having an awful time with the news of the engagement, and it was getting continuously worse, not better. She'd been staying at Teddy's, and then Deacon's. But Deacon was leaving on Luke's tour in a few days, so Maddie was coming home. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly.

To say that she wasn't her daughter's favorite person right now was an underestimate.

With a sigh, Tandy put down her stack of papers, stood up, and walked over to stand next to her sister. "She's just being a teenager, you know. Hating her parents for making her life change. She'll get over it. I mean, god, remember the way we were at that age? No wonder Daddy had so much gray hair."

"I don't know," Rayna said with a sigh, going over and sinking onto the sofa. "I'm not sure she'll ever get over any of this. And I can't say I blame her much for being angry at all of us. Her life has been completely turned upside down in the last year."

"Have you seen him?" Tandy said. "Deacon?"

Rayna shook her head slowly. "We've texted. Only about Maddie. You know, questions about schedules and school and things. I don't know what else to say to him."

"Well you better figure it out in a hurry," Tandy said from her place at the window. "Because they're here. And he's getting out. That's my cue to leave. Call me later."

Her heart raced.

Maddie came into the house, gave her mother an icy glare, and headed right for the stairs without a word.

Rayna winced as she heard the heavy stomp of boots on the wooden stairs, and then a door slam a few minutes later.

And then there was Deacon.

For a second she didn't think he would come in, but then he was there, standing in her kitchen archway awkwardly with his hands in his front pockets. Had it only been two weeks since they'd stood in these two very spots? Two weeks since he'd laid it all on the line for her and walked away hoping she'd have faith to take the chance on them again, since he'd pressed that ring into her hand.

Just two weeks and it felt like a lifetime.

Deacon cleared his throat. His eyes looked everywhere but at her. "So she's…uh..still having a pretty rough time with….everything. But she's been keeping up with her homework, and she's got some event at school next week or something."

Rayna swallowed hard. This could work, she kept telling herself. They could still be Maddie's parents and raise her up and not be together. I mean, hell, her and Teddy did it, didn't they? It was virtually the same thing.

But it wasn't, not really. Not at all. Her and Teddy had fallen out of love and into "team mode" long before their divorce had ever been final.

Her and Deacon had never been anything but tangled in each other's lives. Untangling it now wasn't just hard, it was damn near impossible.

"I'll talk to her. Thanks for bringing her back. How long will you be gone?"

"A month. Then there's a break for about a week. I'll get back and see her when I can. "

"Well alright then."

He turned to go.

"Wait-." She said quickly.

He stopped, shoulders straight, but didn't turn around.

"I mean, is this it, Deacon? Are we going to keep going on like this?" She said quietly. "For Maddie's sake, I feel like we should put it behind us."

When Deacon turned around there was so much hurt in his eyes that it took her breath away. She had never seen him look so broken. Not even the night he found out he had a daughter. It wasn't like either one of them could just walk away because of Maddie. He'd known that the night he came here and said all those pretty words, and kissed her and looked at her with those eyes. He'd known how much he was putting on the line, and he'd done it anyway.

He was much braver than she would ever be.

"I know it's easy for you to just pretend like it didn't happen," he said quietly. "But it ain't as easy for me. I thought for a long time that I had something to fight for but….well, I guess not, huh? Guess I gotta accept that this slate will never be clean enough for you."

He turned and stalked out, leaving her feeling emotionally drained, struggling to find her composure. It was a few minutes before she realized her face was wet.

God, what had she done?

##############################################

"I can't wait to hear this song you've been talking about," Rayna said, throwing Luke a bright smile as he carried a stool onto the stage for her to sit on.

"Well, I thought it would be kinda nice, you know, since we're leaving on sunday and I won't see you until you come to Dallas in two weeks," he said, leaning over to plant a kiss on her mouth. "Wanted you to hear it before I play it onstage for the first time."

Rayna tapped her foot as the band started playing a bouncy beat, and Luke started singing.

Then she started listening to the lyrics, and her smile wavered. A lot. Actually, it was pretty damn hard to keep that smile pasted on her face at all.

What. The. Hell.

When the song ended, he looked all proud of himself. "So what'd you think? Another hit for sure. Course nowadays it'd prolly be a hit even if it was a dud, with you and me attached to it."

"I think…." She said, trying to remain calm. "That we need to talk."

Luke looked perturbed as she walked off the stage with her arm tucked firmly into his, and led

him to an empty corner of the rehearsal space.

"What's the matter?"

Rayna sighed. "Babe, you cannot sing a song about me with lyrics like "she likes to sleep with me

naked" in front of 40,000 people and you certainly cannot release it to country radio."

A horrendous image floated through her mind of sitting in the car with Maddie and Daphne and

suddenly that song would come on the radio. My god, she wondered seriously what he'd been thinking

even _writing_ something like that.

"Oh come on, darlin. It's just a song. I just want the whole world to know how good we are

together."

"Is it really just a song?"

"Yeah, it is. Ain't even the raciest thing on the radio right now."

Rayna pressed her lips together. "It is not just a song, and you know it. It's you sticking it to Deacon. Not only onstage but in front of the world."

"Just makin a point," he said, not even denying it.

She did not look impressed. At all. "Do not sing that song onstage. Promise me?"

Luke's eyes trailed behind her, where Deacon had just walked in. He was standing there talking to one of the roadies, but his eyes were on the two of them and the dark look on his face was obvious.

Rayna didn't miss his gaze, and she turned and saw where he was looking.

Luke held up his hands in defense. "I'm not saying a word."

"How is all this gonna work?" She said quietly. "Him being on your tour and all? Are the two of you really thinking you'll be able to handle it, or you gonna need a referee?"

Part of her was kicking herself for even telling Luke about Deacon's proposal in the first place.

She'd been trying to do the right thing, trying to be honest but it seemed like it had done nothing so far

but backfire.

Luke shrugged. "It's just business as usual. I'm there to put on a show, not buddy up with the

openers anyway."

"Right," she murmured. Business as usual.

#########################################################################

Rayna sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the cd case in her hands. Everything was

different now. She'd made this record fully knowing it might be her last one. She'd put her heart and

soul into it, and now…well now somehow it's success had nothing to do with those songs and that

carefully chosen music and everything to do with her being half of a superstar couple. In short, it was

every single thing she'd tried to avoid doing and being for the last 25 years.

Daphne came into the room and crawled up onto the bed next to her. "Whatcha doing, Mom?"

"Just thinkin," she forced a smile. "You ready for a movie night? I have to go to that party with

Luke in a little while but Maddie will be here with you."

"Yep. As long as she doesn't sit there and be grouchy all night," Daphne rolled her eyes.

Rayna patted her hand. "You know she's having a hard time with some stuff right now.

Hopefully she'll feel better soon."

"Hopefully," Daphne said sadly. "I miss her being happy. I miss us singing together."

"Can I ask you something?" she said to her youngest daughter, Daphne always the ray of

sunshine. God bless this child, how she'd come out of the mess out of the last year more unscathed than

any of them.

"Sure."

"Do _you_ want me to marry Luke?"

Daphne hesitated.

"Be honest. You won't hurt my feelings."

"Well…." Daphne hedged. "not really. I mean, he's nice enough and all."

"But?"

"But it makes everything different," she said in a quiet voice. "I liked it better when it

was just us. You know, me and you and Maddie and our dads…But Deacon told us we should want you

to be happy. I want you to be happy, mom. So you should marry Luke if he makes you happy."

She looked surprised at that remark. "Deacon….told you that?"

Daphne nodded. "We talked about it the other day when we were at his house. "

She stared at her youngest daughter. "You were at his house?"

"Dad said I can take guitar lessons now," Daphne explained. "So he let me go with Maddie to Deacon's house for the afternoon. You weren't here."

_You weren't here._ Those words pained her. She hadn't been "here" for enough lately, and even when she WAS here, so caught up in Highway 65 and dealing with Lamar's estate, and now this engagement stuff.

Things needed to change. Her little girls were growing up and slipping away from her.

"That's real nice that he's giving you lessons," she said. Because truthfully, Deacon had no obligations to Daphne at all. But he loved her just the same, and he had never hesitated to pay attention to her.

"Yeah…." Daphne's voice trailed off. "He can still be my Uncle Deacon, right?"

"Yes," she said firmly, even though it made her heart sting a little. "Now run off and find Maddie while I get ready."

Daphne stopped in the doorway. "I love you, Mommy. Whatever makes you happy, it makes me happy." And she bound off.

The honest of those words touched her heart and stung deep at the same time.

Luke appeared in her bedroom doorway just as she was getting into the shower.

He gave her a smirk at the sight of her standing there in the bathroom doorway in just a towel.

"Don't even think about it," she said with a warning smile. "I cannot be late tonight. I mean, it's my own party. And the girls are right downstairs."

She was in the shower before she realized she'd forgotten to take her ring off.

"Babe, can you put this in my jewelry box til I'm done?" She handed it out to him through the side of the shower curtain.

Luke obliged, going to her dresser and opening the box. But among the necklaces and bracelets, he noticed another ring. Smaller, not flashy at all, just a silver band without a stone.

It could have been nothing, he thought. But then again….

Luke picked it up and examined it. On the inside of the band was one word engraved; "Eternity".

_Goddammit_, _Rayna_, he thought. _Why can't you just let go?_

He was gonna put a stop to all this nonsense once and for all.

###########################################

They were all dressed up to the nines, on the way to the label party in the limo, and Rayna was feeling pretty good after all the trauma of the last few days with Maddie.

But Luke was real quiet all the way to the venue.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" She asked him again, taking his hand. Then she realized they were stopping.

"What the hell?" She murmured, glancing out the window. "Wait, why are we stopping here?"

"Just walk with me." Luke said, lacing her arm through his.

Whatever was eating at him, she didn't know, but his mouth was set in a straight line and he stared straight ahead as they walked.

"Luke," she said uneasily 15 minutes later when she found herself standing on the sidewalk on the Cumberland bridge. "If this is a joke, I missed the punchline."

He pulled something out of his pocket, and she realized he had Deacon's ring.

Her heart pretty much hit the pavement. "Why do you have that?" She reached out and took it from him slowly, realizing he must have seen it in her jewelry box earlier.

"The question is…." Luke said, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "Why do you have it, Rayna? Is that the ring Deacon gave you?"

"I kept it because I was saving it for Maddie," she said, holding her chin high, and closing her fist around it. "It's just sentimental value, Luke. Don't you save things from your

ex for your kids?"

The doubt was written all over his face. "That's all it is, huh. Just an old ring."

"Yes."

"Prove it. Prove you've let go of Deacon once and for all."

She looked at him in confusion, and then she realized what he was saying and why he'd brought

her here. He wanted her to take that ring and just give it a big old fling, just toss it off the bridge and let

it fall to the bottom of the river forever. It really would be gone forever then.

Images of the last time she'd stood in almost this very spot with Deacon clouded her mind.

_What would you change? Nothing. Everything. That makes two of us… _

"I'm not gonna do that,"she said firmly."I told you. I'm saving it for Maddie. Now can we just

stop this ridiculousness and go to the party? We're standing in the middle of the bridge in formal wear.

Not a picture I need in the _Tennessean_ tomorrow morning.

Without another word, Luke stalked down the sidewalk and headed back to the limo.

The party was such craziness, talking to so many people that she couldn't worry about it.

Reporters and interviewers in her face nonstop. Most of them didn't give a damn about her album, she

realized. They wanting the scoop on the wedding.

Luke had his smile pasted on, but she could tell even from across the room that he was angry and hurt.

And that ring was tucked safely into her purse where it belonged. She loved Luke, but like hell if

she was gonna fling it off a bridge. It meant more than that, and she really _was _saving it for Maddie.

He was real quiet on the way home, just staring out the window brooding.

"Listen," she said softly. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'll … give it back to Deacon and he can keep it for Maddie."

Luke squeezed her hand. "You know what? Forget about that ring. Let's set a date. Right here, right now."

Rayna looked surprised. "Already? You don't want to wait a little while? I didn't even meet Sage yet, and everything going on with both our tours….."

"Yep," he said firmly. "Let's just pick a date and go from there. Or a month at least. We can pick the exact date later. How bout December? That way it'll be all done by Christmas and we can have our first Christmas as married people."

She laughed uneasily. "Luke, that's only three months away. I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"Well, I'm ready, Rayna. I want to start our life together."

"Okay, I guess," she said, trying to sound more enthusiastic. "December it is."

##############################################

Rayna sighed and picked up the newspaper. Her own face stared back at her. Pictures of her and Luke from the party the night before were plastered all over the front page. She thumbed through it, looking for the music reviews.

And on the second page of the entertainment section there was Deacon, who had apparently played a smaller show at one of the bars in town. _They say all songs come from somewhere, and this last one had to come from somewhere deep. _She silently read the quote by the reporter_. _

Quickly she turned the page. She didn't need to read the rest. She knew that the song Deacon had sung two weeks ago at the Bluebird had been a big deal. She knew this because Maddie had dropped blatant hints that it was about her. And so far she had avoided hearing it.

She'd never admit that she was _afraid_ to hear it.

She rubbed her temples with her fingers as she dropped the newspaper on the kitchen counter and flipped through one the brochures a hundred different wedding venues had sent over. She was silently kicking herself for agreeing to have this wedding in a mere three months.

"This is ridiculous," she complained to Tandy. "Seriously. Luke wants a bigger wedding than George Clooney's, I swear. He's like a male bridezilla. I don't know why he has to have a room full of celebrity friends and reporters for it to be a great day."

Tandy was sitting next to her browsing over honeymoon travel brochures.

"He's trying to show you off, that's what he'd doing."

"Why in the world would he need to do that," Rayna muttered. "Our faces are already over every magazine in the country." She was so tired of being asked about "Ruke"'s wedding plans. Luke might be used to having the spotlight in his face 24/7 but she had always preferred to keep her private life private. It was impossible now. Worse than impossible. It was a nightmare.

"Because he's rubbing Deacon's face all over it," Tandy said without hesitation.

"Oh come on now, " Rayna rolled her eyes. "They're both more mature than that."

Tandy raised her eyebrows. "Two grown men fighting over the same woman? Don't bet on it."

Rayna paused in flipping through the magazine pages. "I have been dying to know how the tour's going." She admitted. "But I'm afraid to ask. I'm supposed to fly to Dallas for the show tomorrow night."

"Listen," Tandy said with a sigh. "I still think it was a jackass move the way Deacon did it, but….I don't know, Luke's been different lately. He's so damn obsessed with being rich and famous I think he's missing the point of….everything. I never realized what a fame whore he is."

"He didn't grow up like us, Tandy. He grew up with nothing." She said, frowning. "I think he just wants a better life than he had. "

"Deacon grew up with nothing." Tandy pointed out. "And he doesn't seem to feel the need to tell all the details of his life to the press."

"And why are you all "Team Deacon" all of a sudden?" Rayna said, hands on her hips. "After all those years of telling me I needed to put him behind me and move on?"

Tandy sighed, and closed her laptop. "That day when he dropped Maddie off, I met him outside when I was leaving. Something about that look on his face has been bothering me ever since."

Rayna looked down at the brochures spread out around him. She chewed her bottom lip.

She took a deep breath. "Tandy, what if I made the wrong choice?"

"Honey, it's a little late to be changing your mind now," she said gently. "You can't keep going back and forth like this. It's not fair to Luke, but to be honest, it's mostly not fair to Deacon. He's never going to move on if he thinks there's still hope."

She nodded, her heart feeling hollow. It hurt a little to hear that, but Tandy was just being honest. She'd made her choice. She'd chosen the safe route, the clean slate. There was no going back now. There _was_ no hope. She'd decided that. For all of them. "

But she couldn't help but stare at all this wedding stuff and think of the wedding she really wanted.

"Wouldn't it be so nice," she said with a sigh. "Just to have a nice little ceremony outside somewhere…next to the water…just a few friends and family and some pretty dresses….Just us and the people that are important. Have a little party. No reporters, no cameras….Just me looking at him and him looking at me saying our vows and getting on with our life together."

Tandy raised her eyebrows and put down the brochure in her hand carefully. "I think it's a good think you've only got three months to think about marrying Luke."

"Why?" She murmured.

"Because," Tandy said calmly. "You know what you just did, right? You just described your wedding….to Deacon."

She stared at her sister. "I did not."

"You did. You need to quit doing this."

She knew Tandy was right.

Trouble was, she didn't know how to quit _him. _


	2. Chapter 2

**This story is kind of taking on a life of it's own, so it's no longer really based on any spoilers, just a crazy idea that came to me….hope you like it! **

**Dallas, TX **

Rayna stood off to the side with Luke, watching as Deacon came off the stage, and Will Lexington got ready to go on next.

"I'm so glad you're here," Luke said, pulling her into his arms. "It was nice spending all day with you. Too bad you can't just hire someone else to run that company cancel all those tour dates of yours and come out on the road with me permanently."

"You know I can't do that," Rayna said with a smile. "I got my ambition from my daddy. Having nothing to do all day would drive me insane."

"I could give you something to do all day," he nuzzled her neck.

She laughed uneasily and pulled back a little. The whole affection in public thing had always been a little awkward to her, and lately he'd been really rubbing it in more than ever. But that wasn't what was really eating her. All the little comments about how she could just "quit working and be Mrs. Luke Wheeler" boiled her blood more than she cared to admit, and she knew it was a battle that wasn't going to end well. She'd been glad to get a chance to come and see the show, since the next few months especially their two tours would barely cross each other, but she certainly didn't want to spend the little time together arguing about the fact that she didn't plan on being the trophy wife he thought he needed.

Over Luke's shoulder, she could see Deacon as he came down the stairs, handed his guitar to a roadie nearby, and stood off to one side watching Will. His face was set in a hard line.

A familiar feeling of guilt washed over her, permanently anchored in her stomach lately it seemed.

She'd tried to avoid Deacon all day, even though Luke seemed damn determine to rub their relationship in his face every chance that came up. She knew it was hurting him. She could tell by the look on his face how on edge he was. Even onstage. He didn't look like he was having as much fun as he usually did, just forced to go through the motions and get it over with.

With a sigh she stepped away from Luke. "I really should check my messages."

"I thought you were turning that damn thing off today."

"I did, for awhile. I promised, didn't I? But I want to check in on the girls."

She looked down at her phone as the messages started playing "catch up," and realized with a sinking feeling that there were _fifteen_ missed calls from Teddy and one frantic text message. _You need to call me. It's Maddie. _ Her face paled. Please, she thought as she quickly dialed her ex husband's number. Please let it just be one of Maddie's teenage temper tantrums, or that she had missed curfew. Minor. Let it be something minor.

Teddy gave her the D.L. and her heart dropped as she listened, asked a few terse questions and hung up.

"What is it?" Luke asked, his brow furrowing in concern. He put a hand on her arm, but she was already walking over to where Deacon leaned against the wall.

Deacon raised his eyebrows and looked at her coolly, then at Luke over her shoulder, who was now giving him the death glare. So what else was new. The last two weeks on this tour had been nothing but hell. "You need something?"

Rayna told herself she'd be annoyed with his attitude later. "It's Maddie," she said. "Teddy took Maddie to the ER this morning because she was complaining of stomach pain. They said her appendix burst."

Deacon's scowl faded, and his blue eyes got huge with worry. "What? How did that happen? I mean, is she okay?"

Rayna's hands were visibly shaking. "He said she's got a fever, and they plan to operate tomorrow morning if they can get her fever to drop overnight."

"You're going home then?"

"Yes," Rayna was already trying to get the pilot of her private plane back on the phone. "As soon as I can."

"Well, I'm going with you," he said no holds barred.

She opened her mouth to protest, but then Luke did it for her.

"Now wait a minute," he cut in. "I understand this is serious, but we've got a show tomorrow night. I'm fairly certain Teddy and Rayna can handle it."

Deacon straightened his shoulders. "And I'm fairly certain there's a paragraph in that contract about allowances for family emergencies. I think this qualifies. Better read it again, Wheeler."

"Ugh," Rayna had that phone in her hand and she looked like she was ready to throw it at the wall.

"Whatsa matter now?" Luke asked testily.

"There's a storm system moving through the area," she said. "All flights have been grounded until tomorrow morning."

Luke glanced over at Deacon triumphantly, and turned to Rayna. "Well there you go. Just wait until tomorrow and I can fly home with you and still make it back for the show by tomorrow night."

Rayna was already dialing other numbers, completely oblivious to the pissing contest between two grown men that was going on in front of her. "Like hell I'm waiting. I'm going see if I can get a car and drive home."

"Ray, it's a 10 hour drive," Deacon insisted. "You shouldn't go by yourself."

"Well I sure as hell am not going to fiddle my thumbs here," she said tartly. "Or I'll go insane worrying."

"I'm going with you," Deacon said firmly.

"Like hell you are." Luke cut in. "I'll cancel the damn shows and drive you myself."

"Luke," she said calmly. "That's ridiculous. You're going onstage in less than an hour, and all those fans waiting for the meet and greet afterwards. And Deacon, thank you for the offer but I don't need you to drive me. I'll be fine."

"Rayna," Deacon said in a softer tone. "She's my little girl. And I'm just as worried as you are. I'm going."

She could see it in his eyes. The same panic, the same anxiousness that she felt. Pleading. He'd missed so many years, so many things exactly like this. She knew he'd never get over the guilt from that.

She couldn't say no.

"Alright," she said calmly. "We're out. They're bringing a rental car to the back in 15 minutes. I'm certainly not in the mood to deal with a crowd of photographers tonight." The expression on her face was a mixture of relief and doubt, but right now she couldn't think of anything else but their daughter.

"Fine with me."

Rayna turned back to Luke, who looked like he was about to blow his temper any second. But right now she couldn't think about anything else except getting home to Maddie. "I'll call you." She said quickly, kissing his cheek. "Have a good show. Thanks for understanding."

Luke watched them take off practically at a run for the exit, shoulder to shoulder, discussing their daughter.

Anger seethed in his gut.

But this was business. And the damn show had to go on.

################################################

**Somewhere in Texas…1130 pm**

Rayna was driving him crazy. Sitting in the passenger seat of the rented SUV next to him, texting Teddy every fifteen minutes, wriggling all over the place, radio on, radio off, putting her hair up, taking her hair down….back on her phone talking to her sister. He'd never seen her so restless and out of sorts.

"Listen," Deacon said, reaching over and gently taking the phone out of her hand. "You need to relax. I'm sure she'll be fine. This stuff happens to kids all the time, right? They'll fix her up in no time." He sounded a lot more reassuring than he actually felt saying that. For the first time he understood that saying about how being a parent compared to having your heart walk around outside your body. So this is what it felt like.

_She'll be okay._ He kept telling himself. _She has to be. I haven't had enough time to be her Dad. _

"She's been so upset lately about everything," Rayna murmured. "And I've been way too caught up in launching Highway 65 to do anything about it. I feel awful."

"I'm sure the girls understand that you've got a lot going on with the label right now. And believe me," he said dryly. "Maddie's taken enough of it out on me as well."

"They're kids," she sighed. "They shouldn't have to understand."

He reached over and squeezed her hand.

"I'm glad you're here," she admitted.

"Me too."

A little while later, her phone rang and she picked it up.

He could tell just by the way she tried to turn away it was Wheeler. The show must be over, he figured, glancing at the clock.

"Listen," Rayna was saying. "Im sorry our weekend got cut short. Maybe we can try again at the end of the month before I leave on my tour."

Pause.

"Luke, that is a ridiculous thought and you know it," she said in a low voice. She didn't sound too happy.

Deacon stared straight ahead, trying not to listen in but it was impossible.

"No, we're not stopping anywhere. We're driving right through."

Loooooong pause.

He would have given a hundred bucks to see Luke's expression on the other end of that phone call right now, and he wasn't ashamed to admit it was a little satisfying.

"Well it's his daughter too, Luke, that's why. I would think you'd be a little more understanding."

Deacon gripped the steering wheel. Hell with the tour. Luke Wheeler could fire him or sue him or whatever the hell if he wanted. All he really cared about right now was making sure Maddie was okay. He'd worry about the rest later.

Rayna punched the off button on the call and dropped the phone in the middle console, looking annoyed.

"Well, that sounded like it went well." He couldn't help but comment.

She shot him a withering look, stared out the window, twisting the gumball sized ring on her finger. And she didn't say another word to him for 100 miles.

################################################

**Somewhere in Arkansas…. 2am**

The silence in the SUV was deafening.

Deacon kept his eyes on the yellow line, but he could almost feel what she was thinking next to him. So many things they both wanted to say, so hard to figure out where to start. The longer you went without talking, the harder it was to know where to begin.

"Do you ever miss it?" He asked.

"Miss what." Rayna said. She couldn't even begin to think about closing her eyes to sleep.

"Singing together. Being onstage together. Writing together."

She sighed and stared out the side window into the darkness as the mile markers flew by. She'd started watching them awhile ago. Every mile closer to her baby. Closer to home.

"Sometimes, I guess," she said softly. "You?"

"A lot," he said quietly. "Every day."

She leaned her head against the headrest. Sure, she missed it. More than she'd ever admit. Even when she'd been married to Teddy, the stage was theirs. She couldn't even count the number of times lately she'd had to fight the urge to pick up the phone and call him, _hey I have a great idea for a song. Wanna work on it? _

No chance. Her and Deacon writing anything together had always ultimately ended up in the same place.

She felt her face flush a little at the memory. Thank god it was dark and he couldn't see her expression.

"It was good," she admitted softly. "We were good together."

"Yeah, we were. And now you're….good with him, I guess, right? I mean, now he's the one writing songs about you." Deacon smirked. "What'd you think of that, huh? That new song he's got, how does it go? She likes to sleep with me naked…."

She shuddered. "Oh believe me, I put a stop to that business. You won't be hearing that one onstage. Or on the radio. I swear, I don't know what he was thinking."

He couldn't help but laugh despite of everything going on. "I knew you would. You never were one to tolerate much crap." His voice lowered a little. "I still don't know what you see in him, though. A bunch of songs on the radio and a face on a barbecue bottle ain't everything."

She sighed. "Deacon…."

"Hey, I'm just sayin."

Little more silence, a few more miles, and raindrops started pelting the windshield. They were pretty much driving right through the storm that had grounded her plane.

He had to. He had to do it. He had to ask. He had to know.

It was eating him alive sitting three feet away from her and _not_ asking.

"How could you not show up, Ray? That night at the Bluebird?"

Rayna threw up her hands. "Okay, here we go, right? Let's have a fight in the middle of…." She squinted at a road sign, barely visible in the rain. "Where the hell are we anyway?"

"Arkansas."

"Fine. Arkansas. Let's have a fight in the middle of Arkansas. You wanna have it out? Let's do it right now. In the middle of godforsaken nowhere Arkansas."

"I don't want to fight with you," he said quietly. "I just want to know why. A true, honest answer."

"I already gave you all my reasons, Deacon." She said, her voice rising. "And they were good ones. Why can't you just let it go?"

"Trust me," he muttered. "It'd be a hell of a lot easier if I could."

She fiddled with the radio stations hurriedly, looking for anything. Hell, she'd listen to gangster rap just to not have to have this conversation with him. But there was no reception.

"There's a couple demos in my bag," he muttered. "Better than nothing." He instantly got mad at himself for even bringing it up. Mad at her for still not giving him a straight answer. Mad because they still had 7 hours to go and they were unwittingly making each other miserable.

Rayna rifled around and pulled out the first unlabeled plastic case she found in his bag, and stuck the disc in the cd player.

He winced as the first notes came out of the speakers. "Not that one," he said, stabbing at the button to switch it off. Seriously. Out of all of them, she had to pick that damn song. "Anything but that one."

Rayna stared at him. "Is that it?"

"Is it what?" Deacon gripped the steering wheel hard and stared ahead like that line would disappear if he didn't.

"Is that the song?"

"It doesn't matter. You weren't there," he couldn't hide a hint of bitterness in his voice. "You picked the other guy, remember? So it just….doesn't matter. You said yourself. You had your reasons."

"I remember," she murmured, struggling with her inner turmoil. Her raging heart beat out her common sense about two miles later. She unwillingly reached over and turned the cd player back on.

Deacon heaved a sigh. Way to stomp on his heart all over again. He wondered if she'd ever get tired of that, or if they were just supposed to keep living this way for the rest of their lives. Sharing a daughter, trying to stay out of each other's lives and failing over and over again. Loving each other from across the room and pretending like it didn't matter.

By the time the song he'd written for her was done filtering out of the speakers, he finally had the guts to glance over at her, and he realized she was swiping at her eyes with her hand.

"You alright?"

"No," Rayna said lifting her chin. "I am not alright. Can you pull over, please?"

"Ray, it's raining and as you pointed out, we're in the middle of nowhere Arkansas."

"Just goddamn pull over!"

He pulled off the highway and into a deserted wayside parking lot, and watched helplessly as she stumbled out of the SUV.

_What the hell is she thinking? _

Deacon got out and went around the other side of the truck, and she was pacing in the open space there, arms crossed, being pelted by rain.

Standing out in the damn rain, he realized. Just so she wouldn't have to be near him.

It hurt that they'd gotten to this point.

God, they were both 50 shades of something crazy. Because all he wanted more than anything right now was to take her in his arms and tell her it would all be alright. Everything with Maddie, everything with them. Somehow it was all gonna be alright.

"Rayna, come on," he said, touching her shoulder. "Just get back in the truck, okay? You're gonna get pneumonia. And I don't really relish the thought of driving 7 more hours in wet jeans."

She just stood there with her arms crossed and her head down. Getting wetter and wetter, her hair plastered to her shoulders.

Finally he shook his head in exasperation and started walking away.

"Did you really mean all that?" She called.

He stopped, shoulders straight, and came back to her. Slowly, one step at a time, forcing his feet to keep moving.

He stared at her increduously. "Why the hell do you think I wrote it? Why do you think I played it onstage for the whole world to hear. For you to hear. But you weren't there, Ray. You _weren't there_."

"Well, I don't know Deacon. I don't know why you do anything," she said exasperatedly. "You show up in my kitchen completely out of the blue and put a _ring in my hand_-."

"I wasn't asking you to jump off a damn cliff!" He shouted against the rain beating down on them. "

"Well it felt like a damn cliff!" She cried out. "It always feels like a cliff with you. And I don't know if I'm gonna fall off of it or end up in the clouds."

He didn't know what to say to that. "What do you want me to do, Ray? Pretend I don't care? Pretend I'm okay to stand by and watch you marry someone else _again_? I can't. I tried that before. We always end up in the same place."

"See the thing is," she said, her voice shaking. She didn't know if it was because she was soaked to the skin and freezing, or just terrified she was about to fall into something she could never go back from. "You were right." She whispered. "The idea of you and me….us….it scares me to death. I'm not as brave as you, Deacon. You just….lay it all on the line and damn the consequences. I can't be like that. I don't know how."

"You know, I just wanted a chance to prove to you I'm a different person." He said, frustrated, running his hands through his hair. "And obviously it didn't work, so can we please just get back in the truck and go home to Maddie, because it's getting really -."

She cut him off by taking two quick steps forward and pressing her mouth to his deeply.

He blocked out everything else in the world in that moment as the rain beat down on them and somehow she ended up in his arms, their hands searching each other frantically.

He pulled back and stared at her face, breathing heavily. "Jesus, what the hell is this? I can't do this with you, Ray. You can't have it both ways."

"I think it's me jumping off a cliff." She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "I just want to remember what it's like. Please."

She lost him at that. Deacon fumbled for the doorhandle to the backseat at his hip, flung it open, and pulled her inside.

Maybe they'd end up in the clouds after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Somewhere in Mississippi**

The storm clouds were gone now, they'd left the rain behind in Arkansas.

As the sun came up in beautiful shades of pink and orange yellow over the horizon in front of them, Deacon noted the sign on the side of the road that read "Welcome to Mississippi." His chest tightened involuntarily as long-suppressed memories of an awful childhood surfaced. Every time he thought about Maddie, he was grateful his daughter had grown up so loved and cherished. He owed Rayna that much. She might have not made all the right choices, but she'd done what was right for Maddie at the time, and that was all that really mattered.

He glanced over at her asleep in the passenger seat with her head resting against her hand.

God, she'd surprised the hell out of him with that whole backseat rendezvous.

Then again, Rayna had never ever failed to do the unexpected.

He laughed softly at the memory, still fresh in his mind. Where they went from here, he had no idea. Absolutely no effing idea. She was engaged to someone else. He was the opening act on that someone else's tour for the next 8 months.

Boy if he'd thought this situation was a mess before, now it was a downright nuclear disaster.

Her ring from Luke was in the cupholder in the console where she'd dropped it after he'd

slid it off her finger in the midst of ripping off their wet clothes and getting it on in the backseat.

He couldn't even look at the ostentatious thing. It was like a symbol of everything waiting to be taken away from him the second she put it back on.

Rayna stirred, and her eyelashes fluttered open.

She met his gaze, and her face flushed a little.

"Mornin."

"Mmmm hmmm." She murmured. "Where are we?"

"Mississippi. A few more hours and we should be home."

"Thank goodness." She reached for her phone to look at the time. 7 am.

"Teddy called your phone about an hour ago," he said. "And I answered. Hope you don't mind."

She winced. Good grief, it was a wonder Teddy hadn't dropped dead from shock at Deacon answering her phone. "No I don't mind. What did he say? How's Maddie?"

"He said her fever's down and they were prepping her for surgery. She'll probably just be about getting out when we get there."

Rayna looked relieved.

"She'll be okay," he said, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "Cuz she's ours. And she's tough."

"That's sure the truth."

"Wanna stop and get some breakfast quick? Or at least coffee."

"That'd be nice," she said softly.

"Next stop, then."

He was still holding her hand.

And it was nice. Real nice.

**Tennessee **

Almost home, Rayna thought, looking at the mile markers. 100 miles to go. Almost home to their baby.

He hadn't brought it up.

She hadn't brought it up either.

They talked about everything else except that Arkansas pit stop.

And the funny thing was, she realized, they talked more in the last two hours stuck in the car together than they had in months. The tension was gone. It was more like it used to be.

He asked her about her business, she asked him about the solo album he was working on. She asked him how Scarlett was really doing, he asked her about how Daphne was adjusting to everything.

Somewhere around Memphis, she started singing along with the radio, feeling a little better. Deacon was right, she told herself. Maddie would be fine. They'd get her through it.

"I probably panicked a little bit last night," huh," she admitted. "Look at the sky now, it's beautiful. Coulda waited til this morning and flew home in 2 hours."

Deacon shook his head and smiled. "You're a mama, it's your job to worry."

"Well, thanks for coming with me," she echoed again.

"Wasn't so bad of a drive, right?" he gave her a cheeky grin. "Besides, it might make for a damn good song."

Rayna threw her head back and laughed. "You're probably right. Might wanna leave some parts out, though."

"Just a few."

He loved hearing that laugh of hers. Made her sound more like she used to be, back when it wasn't all about the fame and the celebrity status crap that she seemed to be falling into lately.

In a flash, Rayna was searching her purse for the notebook she always kept there. "Tell me what you're thinking and I'll write it down."

Those last 100 miles flew by, and before she knew it, Deacon was pulling into the hospital parking lot. They both sighed in relief.

Teddy was in a private waiting room pacing anxiously when they walked in.

"How is she?"

"Just getting out." He said with a sigh. "They said it went fine. As long as there's no signs of infection, they will send her home in a few days and she'll be good as new in no time."

"I'm sorry," Rayna kept saying. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here."

"Stuff happens, Rayna," Teddy said, giving her a hug. "Don't kill yourself over it."

The doctor appeared then, and reported that Maddie was waking up in the recovery room and they could go see her two at a time.

Disappointed, Deacon glanced at Teddy and hung back a little. They were never exactly gonna be what you would call friends, but in the last few months more of an understanding had been reached. They both loved Maddie, and wanted what was best for her.

"You go," Teddy said begrudgingly.

Rayna looked surprised.

She was even more surprised when Deacon shook his hand. "Thanks."

After all the bad blood of the last 15 years, it almost brought tears to her eyes

##############################

Maddie was pretty groggy and drugged up, but she opened her eyes when Rayna took her hand.

"Hey, sweetheart," she said softly. "We're here. How do you feel?"

It hurt seeing her baby laying there in pain hooked up to IVS and painkillers.

"Awful," tears pooled in Maddie's blue eyes. "I hurt all over."

"I know. They'll give you some more pain meds in a little while."

"Mom?" she whispered, her voice scratchy. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, honey. I should have noticed you weren't yourself."

"Yeah, but I was a brat. I'm really sorry."

"We'll forgive you this time," Deacon leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Just worry about getting better, okay?" It hurt him to see her so miserable.

"I'm glad you're here," Maddie whispered. "Sorry you had to come home."

"It's just a tour, sweetie. You're more important than that."

She closed her eyes. "I'm really tired."

"Just go back to sleep. They're gonna take you to a private room in a little while," Rayna said softly. "Dad is out in the waiting room too. He'll come see you upstairs."

"Promise you'll be here?"

"Promise."

By the afternoon, Maddie was in a private room, a lot more awake and a lot more cranky, with Rayna and Teddy hovering protectively by her side.

"I don't want to go." Deacon said as he regretfully said goodbye to Maddie and pulled Rayna in the hallway. "But as long as we know she's okay, I should catch a plane back to Dallas and try to make it for the second show tonight." He'd gotten a couple text messages from Luke already that afternoon wanting to know what the hell was going on. "No sense stirring the kettle more than it already is."

She knew exactly what he was talking about. They'd done more than stir the kettle. They'd lit the damn thing on fire.

She stared at the wall behind him. Anywhere but his eyes. Because they still had not said one word about what happened, and it was just burning in the back of her mind so badly.

"She'll be okay," she said. "I'll call you with updates."

"Absolutely. Every hour. Make sure you let me know when she's coming home. Maybe I can get away this week or next for a few days and fly home. Or we have that week at the end of the month."

"Right," she murmured. "I'm glad you were here."

"Me too." He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, both of them lingering much longer than they really needed to.

Rayna closed her eyes and forced away the hollow feeling in her chest. That feeling of never wanting to let go. It couldn't escape her when she was with him. She'd never _really_ been able to let go of Deacon. Even when she was married to Teddy, those invisible strings were always there. Maybe she could have cut them, but she was finally starting to admit to herself that she hadn't _wanted_ to. And there was a reason for that.

Deacon as he sighed and released her and stepped back. "I should get a move on. And Luke's probably waiting for you to call him and give him all the details." He forced away the bitter taste in his mouth at the mention. "I called Scarlett, she's gonna come pick me up."

Rayna swallowed hard. "Yeah. Uh…yeah, you're probably right." A feeling of guilt washed over her, because Luke had been the farthest thing from her mind for hours. "I probably should make some calls."

He nodded, and turned to leave.

"Hey Deacon?" She said tentatively.

Deacon stopped and raised his head to look at her.

"I need to say something before you go," she said.

"What's that?"

"You said you felt like you needed to prove to me you were a different person." She took a deep breath. "You don't need to do that, because you've done it over and over in the last year. You're a good father, Deacon. And a good man."

A muscle in his jaw moved up and down. "Thanks, Ray. That means a lot."

"I have a lot of things to….sort out right now," she said quietly. "I don't even know where to start."

"You let me know when you get it figured out."

"I will," she whispered.

His eyes said what he didn't say out loud.

_I'll still be here_…..

############################################

**3 weeks later… **

Maddie had bounced back from her health scare remarkably fast, and she was back to her sullen teenage self, having finally gone back to school the week before.

Deacon had made it back for two days to see her, but seeing as the girls had been at Teddy's for that time, Rayna hadn't seen him.

She hadn't seen Luke for three weeks either, for that matter, but the time had flew by much too fast to even think about it, what with Maddie's illness, rehearsals for the tour, tryouts for new artists. It was organized chaos.

Now, Luke's tour was on a break for a week, which meant Luke AND Deacon would be home.

And then they'd all leave again on Sunday, Luke's tour would be back on and hers would be starting. This was it, this was her life for the next year. It was exciting, sure. She was thrilled to be back out on the road, performing again, promoting her new record, but the thought of everything ahead was exhausting too.

Daphne jumped up and down yanking on her hand. "Do you see the planes yet, Mom?"

"Well, not yet." Rayna said, peering at the sky through the airport terminal window. "Should be any minute now."

Maddie was slumped in a chair with her headphones on.

"You excited, Maddie?" She didn't move.

Rayna sighed and reached over and unplugged the chord.

"Hey!"

"How bout you turn that off and join the conversation with us?"

Maddie scowled, but she stood and went to the big glass window.

"I'm sure Deacon will be pretty happy to see you."

"I'm sure," Maddie said. "Why aren't they on the same plane?"

"Well you know Luke has his own plane, just like I do. Deacon flew on a different plane with the rest of the guys."

Daphne smirked. "I'll be the only kid in my class whose parents have _two planes_."

Maddie bumped her. "Luke is _not _your parent, stupid."

Rayna sighed. "Don't say stupid."

"It's true, isn't it? He's just a guy you're marrying because you said no to my dad."

She stared at her daughter. "What?"

Maddie glanced at Daphne, who had run ahead to press her face against the window.

"I know he asked you to marry him, Mom," she said flatly. "And you said no. How could you say no?"

"He told you that?"

"Yeah," Maddie crossed her arms defiantly. "He did."

"Well he shouldn't have," she muttered, feeling more than a little perturbed. "But it's not a conversation we are going to have right now."

_Damn you, Deacon_. _Always gotta stir up the kettle in the fire. _

Luke appeared from the gate then, all easy smiles and happy to see them. He got a half-hearted hug from Daphne before she started begging for money for the vending machines, and a complete cold shoulder from Maddie.

"Hey there, he said to Rayna as he pulled her close to him. "Damn, woman, I have missed you."

She laughed uneasily and let him kiss her, but gently eased away before it got too deep. "Not in front of the girls, okay? Maddie's having a real hard time."

That wasn't the only reason, she had to admit to herself. Any moment Deacon was going to walk through that gate and see them standing there. She didn't know how she was going to feel when she saw him again. She'd done a lot of thinking over the last three weeks.

And she still wasn't any better off than where she was then.

"Aw, they'll get used to the idea," he waved it off. "Just part of growing up, right? Things change. Kids adjust. You ready to hit the road?"

She shook her head and gestured toward Maddie sulking nearby. "I told her we could wait for Deacon's plane."

Luke didn't get mad. He didn't even looked surprised. She breathed a silent sigh of relief. Maybe they could finally get past all this competition stuff. The fact of the matter was that she DID love Luke. When you got past his obsession with his celebrity status and all the media stuff, which she hated, he was a good man, and he was good to her and the girls. She had let him put that ring on her finger and promised to spend her life with him, and she owed him nothing but honesty.

She wrestled one again with her inner turmoil, looking up at his face so happy to see her. He made her laugh, and made her smile, and treated her like every woman dreamed of.

In fact, Luke pretty much had only one flaw.

He wasn't Deacon.

She was having a hell of a time admitting that to herself.

When all the guys came walking off the plane, Rayna did a double take. There was a woman with them, tall and blonde and stacked, dressed in black leather pants, knee high boots, and a white sleeveless shirt. Particularly, this woman seemed to be with _Deacon_. Talking and laughing like they were old friends. "Who the hell is that?"

"Oh that's Trina," Luke said with a smirk. "She's one of the new backup singers. A hell of a songwriter too. Seems like she's taken a shine to your boy Deacon there, they've been spending a lot of time together lately. Did I forget to mention that?"

"I guess so," she murmured.

Well damn.

Kettle stirred.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're okay, right?" Trina asked Deacon as they walked into the airport. She gestured to where the girls were waiting. Rayna stood a little ways away from them, with Luke Wheeler hanging all over her like a cheap suit. Thank god they hadn't had to put up with that on tour yet. Word had come in that the two tours would be combining in January, and everyone was already grumbling behind the scenes about the extra workload and the "demands" that Wheeler was requesting for his future Mrs.

They were also taking bets on who was going to prove to be the bigger diva: Luke or Rayna. Her bet was on Luke.

She felt sorry for Deacon. They'd gotten to know each other a little bit the last few weeks on the tour, and it was obvious that Luke's grudge against Deacon was withstanding, and he'd been dogging him every chance he got, cutting his sets early, finding excuses to get into arguments during soundchecks, basically making his life a living hell. Personally she thought Luke Wheeler was nothing but a giant self-absorbed jackass, but he was her boss and it was a job to get her foot in the door, so she kept her mouth shut. Even if it wasn't right.

Rayna didn't look too happy that Wheeler was trying to copp a feel with her children present, and Trina resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

She didn't exactly know what it was that made Deacon love that woman so damn much, especially since she was currently treating him like yesterday's wet newspapers, but it wasn't her job to judge.

"Not really," Deacon sighed. "But I'll deal with it. Just happy to be home to my daughter."

She gestured to the taller teenage girl. "That's Maddie? Must be. You told me enough about her. Looks like she must be all recovered."

"Yep," he said, the pride in his voice evident. "That's her. She's a tough kid, I knew she'd come out of it alright."

Trina punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Well, I'm outta here then. Brett's picking me up out front. Call me this week if you need someone to bitch to and I'll call you to come rescue me when he starts driving me insane with his college footballs games on the tv."

Deacon laughed. "Haven't you listened to me complain enough already?"

She grinned. "Not even close. See ya around."

"Yeah, thanks," he said sincerely, and he meant it.

It was kind of nice to finally find an ally on the tour, Deacon couldn't lie. Someone who got what his battles were like. She was a recovering addict much like himself, and a good person to talk to. He didn't know why, but he'd felt compelled to tell her everything about the last three months with Rayna. She was non judgemental about the whole thing, exactly what he needed. A friend.

Before she walked away, Trina watched the huge grin he got on his face as the two girls hugged him enthusiastically, both talking a mile a minute.

It was the first real smile she'd seen out of the guy in three weeks.

#######################################

"Whose that?" Maddie asked suspiciously, watching the woman's back as she disappeared.

"Just a friend," he said easily to the girls, an arm around each of their shoulders. "I want to hear all about the last 3 weeks. Maddie, you look like you're all mended up, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm so much better! I hung out with Scarlett while you were gone," Maddie said enthusiastically. "We wrote a song. I can't wait to play it for you."

"Mom and Luke moved up the wedding," Daphne blurted out. "They're getting married in November."

"Daphne!" Maddie scolded.

He should have been used to that familiar knife to the chest by now, but it still hurt like hell every time.

_Well, at least nothing changed while I was gone,_ he thought bitterly.

He'd had a lot of time to think in the last three weeks since that cross-state trip with Rayna. A lot of time to think. Too _much_ time to think, sitting on the bus and in hotel rooms himself while everyone else was up all night partying.

"November, huh," he said quietly. "That's sure quick." _Wonder why she's in such a hurry. _

He looked up and she was standing a few yards away with Luke. Watching. Arms crossed and her eyes guarded.

He knew exactly why she was in such a hurry. He'd seen in her eyes the night in her kitchen when he'd pressed that ring in her hand. He'd seen in in her eyes standing in the rain on a back country road in the middle of nowhere.

She was scared.

She was also the most damn stubborn woman he'd ever known in his life. When Rayna got a thought in her head, there was no stopping her. She might take your advice, but it was gonna go in one ear and out the other. She might listen to your suggestions, but she was gonna do what she damn well pleased whether you liked it or not. Yessir, she would do what she pleased alright, not what you wanted. It was part of what made him love her so much, she'd stick to her guns come hell or high water. She'd said she was gonna go off and marry Luke Wheeler, and now she was determined to hurry up and do it.

What he'd almost failed to remember was that when you wanted Rayna to do something, -or _not_ do something-, you had to make it her idea.

He was holding onto that thought.

###############################################

Rayna watched surreptitiously as Maddie and Daphne flew at Deacon for hugs. It was a much more enthusiastic reaction than Luke had gotten. Behind him, she also watched the retreating figure of the blonde woman who had gotten off the plane with him. _Boy, that didn't take long at all_, she thought, annoyed. Then again, Deacon had never had a problem getting under someone else to get over her. They never stuck around. She'd watched it happen for years, and never said a damn thing about it. She couldn't. She was married to someone else.

And now, she was engaged to someone else, so she still couldn't.

It was eating at her like nothing else had in a long time.

"Come on, I'm ready to get the hell out of here," Luke said next to her. "You're house or mine?"

She'd been so engrossed in her thoughts that she'd forgotten he was standing there for a second while her eyes were wandering.

She didn't miss the disregarding look he shot in Deacon's direction. "The girls ready to go?"

"I'll give em a minute yet. And since I have the girls til after dinner, my house," she said with a sigh. "If Maddie's going to sulk all night she'd probably rather do it in her own room."

"We might as well start figuring that out anyway," Luke said without missing a beat. "There's enough empty rooms at my place, they can just pick em out now so it'll be all ready for you and your kids to move in after the wedding."

She jerked her face towards his abruptly. "What?"

"Well, I was just assuming we'd sell your house and move to the ranch," he said with a shrug. "I have 300 acres, and you live in the middle of that fancy-ass suburb, It only makes sense."

Rayna realized she hadn't given it much thought. "I just assumed we'd….I don't know, keep both houses. Stay at mine when the girls were home."

"I guess we could," he said, looking none too pleased. "But it doesn't make much sense, does it?"

"We don't need to talk about it now," she said, feeling slightly irritated. _Like hell I'm gonna sell my kids' home. _"Girls, come on, it's time to go." She said quickly as she approached their little circle, leaving Luke standing a safe distance away. _Don't look at him_, she told herself. The eyes always got her. It was like what they said about looking at the sun. You might get burned if you stared at it too long.

The last thing she needed right now was to be set on fire by Deacon Claybourne. Again.

Maddie's face looked more hopeful than Rayna had seen it in weeks. "Can I go to Deacon's for a little while? Please?"

And there was Daphne, jumping right into add her own commentary. "Can I go too? Just for a few hours? He said he owes me a lesson."

She didn't know why she was surprised to hear Daphne's request. Even with everything going on between them, he was still "Uncle Deacon" to her, and he never treated her any differently than he had before.

And damn, she looked. He got her with those eyes, always able to read her even when she wasn't saying a word. It made some part of her hurt inside so badly that she could hardly breathe.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Um….hey," Rayna stumbled over her words, not quiet able to find them. "Maddie….yes. And Daphne….well, I guess it's up to you, Deacon."

"It's fine with me," he said. "I can drop them off after dinner if you want."

"Actually the girls were supposed to go back to Teddy's, so can you take them over there?"

"Sure," he said. "Sure, no problem."

The girls were already slapping hi fives and hugging her goodbye.

She watched as they walked towards the exit, laughing and joking.

She felt like her heart had just walked out the door with them.

Behind her, Luke slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her back to reality.

##########################################

Rayna had been unusually quiet since they'd left the airport, and Luke didn't fail to miss it.

"What's with you? Something's on your mind." He asked as they sat together on her sofa with the television on low in the background. "Dinner was good, right?"

"Yeah, it was great," she forced a smile. Fanciest restaurant in town. Complete with paparazzi and their cameras watching every bite through the windows. Knowing her luck there'd be a picture of her chewing her fish tomorrow morning on the front page of the paper. It was ridiculous.

Luke was going on and on about the tour, but she was barely hearing a word. Her thoughts were in a totally different place. They'd been in that place a lot lately. Her inner conflict was raging silently.

She just wasn't sure anymore that this was what she wanted her life to be.

"I'm okay. Just tired. It's been a long week, getting ready to leave on Sunday and all."

"Yes it has," Luke said, reaching for her hand. "But it's just a few months, and then we'll be married and on tour together. Every day. Every night."

Rayna sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's the plan, right? Are you sure this combined tour thing is a good idea? With four acts? That would be a four hour concert. And exhausting," she reminded. "And that's literally half as many tickets we would sell."

"Who cares about the tickets, it's not like we need the money. And if there's too many acts, we can cut one," he said easily. "Problem solved. Actually more than one problem solved."

Rayna raised her eyebrows at what he was insinuating. "So cut Deacon," she said evenly "That's what you'd do. Because Will has the number 2 record right now, so you sure wouldn't cut _him."_

Luke shrugged like it was no big deal. "I've had about enough of Deacon's crap to last three lifetimes anyway. He's got a piss-poor attitude, he stares at you like a wounded three ged dog, and-."

"Okay, that's enough," Rayna cut him off quickly. "He's still Maddie's dad, and you need to get used to the idea that he's never going to be completely out of our lives. The two of you….need to find some way to deal with each other. Especially for Maddie. This whole thing is so out of control, it's ridiculous."

Luke stared at her, surprised at her outburst, his eyes searching her face. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"I told you," she said tiredly. "It's been a long week and the last thing I want to do is sit here and argue with you. Why do we have to talk about Deacon at all? He's got his life, I've got mine, and they only mix where Maddie is concerned. That's the way it is, and that's the way it's gonna stay, Luke. So just let it go."

She stood up and went to the buffet to pour herself another glass of wine.

But Luke wouldn't let it go. "What happened on that road trip anyway? Anything I should know about?"

Rayna took a huge swig of her glass of wine before answered. And lying. There was nothing on earth she hated more than lies. She closed her eyes for a second against the buzz the wine gave her. Trying not to remember the rain beating down on them and the way they'd clung to each other like their very lives depending on it. Trying not to remember how much it had unwillingly hurt to see him walk off the plane with that girl, that he had apparently already found a way to drown his sorrows. Trying not to remember that he'd asked her to marry him, and she said no. Whatever hurt she felt, she deserved it and she knew it.

She needed to find a way to get over this in a hurry, before it completely unraveled her. "Of course nothing happened. We just talked, that's all."

She hoped her face didn't look as hot as it felt.

"You seem awfully defensive of him all of a sudden," Luke said, his eyes searching her face, and his mouth in a hard line. "Why is that?"

"Well, you're always saying it's about business," Rayna said, lifting her chin. "And I just think it's good for his career to be on the tour, for one. And for two, it's a plain old crappy thing for you to do. I know you guy have your issues, but this is business, right?"

"It's more than just an issue, Rayna. And you know it. You promised me this Deacon thing was over."

"It is," she said haltingly.

But it would never be over, and the look on Luke's face said he knew it.

She figured as long as he was already pissed off, she might as well drop the next bomb.

"I've been thinking," she said quietly. "And I know you're not going to like it. But I want to put the wedding off until next summer. Things will have settled down by then, the newspapers will be bored with us, the kids will have more time to get used to the idea."

Luke slammed his beer down on the coffee table. Hard. "You heard what my people said the other day, it won't work. That's too long of a wait for me. I want us to get on with our lives, Rayna. Put everything behind us that keeps getting in the way."

He meant Deacon. She knew he meant Deacon. It always went back to Deacon. But it really wasn't just about him. She'd been so caught up in Luke's bubble of fame the last few months that she felt like she was losing sight of who she really was.

You sure as hell would not be seeing her face next to his on the barbecue sauce bottle.

"Well," she said slowly. "I mean, I don't know how to say this….but…I wasn't "asking." December is not okay with me, so it's not an option. And it has nothing to do with Deacon. This is about me."

Luke shrugged her hand off his knee and stood up, clearly unhappy. "You know what, I should probably just go home for the night. I need some time to think this all over."

"Um….okay," Rayna said, surprised. "Are we really going to leave this conversation angry?"

But he was already halfway to the door.

"Well, I guess we are," she murmured.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be, Rayna," he said quietly. "And you know it."

She did know it. She was become more aware of it every day. This _wasn't_ how it was supposed to be. At all. Having her wedding planned by people in a boardroom. Watching her kids be miserable and act out. Having her private life sprawled all over the magazine covers. It was amazing how alone a person could feel when so many other people were up in your business.

And then Luke was gone, leaving her with her thoughts.

Thinking was what always got a person.

She didn't know much, but she knew she needed to get away. From all of this.

A little while later, she was out the door.

She drove around for nearly an hour before she realized she was at a familiar intersection. A right turn would take her home.

She took the left one.

#########################################

The cabin probably wasn't the best idea in the world, she knew that.

She just wanted to sit on the porch for awhile in the dark and be alone with her thoughts.

_He probably won't even be there,_ Rayna told herself as she drove down the dark back road. In fact, she was counting on it. It was late already, he'd had the girls earlier. She couldn't get that sweet picture out of her mind of him with the girls, how much he loved them. How much he had always loved them.

_He's probably too busy writing songs with his little blonde sidekick. _

A spurt of something that was _not_ jealousy hit her between the eyes.

She almost turned around several times, but that stubborn Wyatt streak in her blood wouldn't let her, and before she knew it, she was pulling into the driveway. Next to his truck. He was there after all. Her heart started beating a little faster.

And then an awful thought struck her.

_If he brought her up here, there's gonna be a cat fight for sure. _

She sat in her truck in the dark for five minutes staring at the place.

"Oh for pete's sake," she muttered. "This is ridiculous. All I really wanted to do was sit on the porch."

She climbed out and headed for the steps before she could stop herself.

#############################################

Deacon was sitting there, under the dim overhead light with a guitar in his hand, when footsteps on the wooden porch made him look up.

He almost dropped his guitar when he saw Rayna standing there, like some godforsaken optical illusion out of the dream he had almost every night now.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey," he echoed. "Uh….what are you doing here?"

"Are you alone?" She asked hesitantly.

"Does it matter?"

She shot him a Look. "Where's your….uh…friend?"

Deacon raised his eyebrows.

"She's not good for you, you know," Rayna added. "I know she still drinks, even if she tells you she doesn't. I'd hate to see you…pulled down that road again."

He started playing and didn't even look up. "I don't think you get to say what's good for me anymore."

Word had come down that her and Luke were combining their tours. He didn't know what to think of that. On on hand, it meant he'd be seeing her every night. On the other hand, it mean He'd Be Seeing Her Every Night. She still had that damn ring on her finger, although every time he'd seen her and Luke together this weekend, she looked unhappier by the second.

The whole "Arkansas" thing was burning a hole in his mind like nothing else. They hadn't talked about it. Just….pretend like it didn't happen. Rayna was good at that too.

She put her hands on her hips. "Maybe I'm just looking out for you," she said hotly. "Somebody's gotta, cuz you sure don't do much of a job looking after yourself."

"Why are you so concerned, Ray?" He said with a smirk. "Cuz it kinda sounds like you're jealous."

"Hardly!"

"So maybe you came up here to talk about what happened in the back of that rental car?"

"I don't want to talk about that," she crossed her arms uncertainly. "it was….well, we were both worried about Maddie. Comfort. It was comfort."

His eyes stared her down. "It was, huh? Well Maddie is fine now. So what are you doing here? What will it be next time?"

Rayna put her hands on her hips. "There isn't going to BE a next time!"

"I seem to remember this one time after a concert in Denver and you sayin the same thing. Did you ever tell Teddy about that? I mean, now that you two are divorced?"

"Of course not! And I was drinking, which I hardly ever do. I still feel terrible about that to this day."

For a hot scary minute there 11 years ago she'd been scared to death that she was going to be keeping TWO of Deacon's children from him, and vowed that if God rescued her from that one, it had been a one time slip up that would never happen again. And it hadn't. Daphne came out with the same blood type and the same nose as Teddy. Teddy never found out, but it still didn't make it right.

But the guilt of it she still always carried with her. Vows were made for a reason.

Rayna sunk into the wooden chair a few feet away from Deacon, suddenly looking lost. "I didn't come up here to fight with you, Deacon. I didn't really think you'd be here. I just wanted to sit on the porch for awhile and think about some things. It's peaceful up here."

Just sitting on that porch brought back so many memories it was almost overwhelming. This was where they'd always come together to escape the craziness. This was where they'd made Maddie. This was where she'd stood on this very porch watching him self-destruct, where she'd made that decision not to tell him he was going to be a father.

"It is peaceful," Deacon said. "I can't imagine it's too peaceful with photographers following you around and hanging out of trees in front of your house."

She made a face. "That's not me, you know that."

"Seems to be lately," he responded. "I hear that wedding is still on, huh."

She didn't say anything, and Deacon sighed and picked off a few chords on the guitar.

"You know," he said. "You picked it. That's the life you want. Clean slate and all."

"Do you always have to throw my words back at me, Deacon?"

She glared at him.

He strummed a few more chords.

"That sounds nice," she said tentatively.

"Yeah, I'm gonna use the lyrics we wrote on the trip," he said casually. "Might change em a little bit. That part about making love in the rain? It'll just be a "quick mistake in the rain" instead. Why don't you just go on home, Rayna. Go home and plan your damn wedding and let me be."

Rayna's face clouded over.

He hurt her, and he knew it. Good. He wanted her to be the one hurting for once.

"You know what," she said quietly. "I came up here because I wanted to find some peace. I don't need this." She turned to go.

But his hand on her arm stopped her in her tracks.

"Don't," he said quietly. "Don't go. I'm sorry. I just….miss you, Ray. I miss us. You and me. And that whole trip brought it all back. Then I get home today and you've still got Luke hanging all over you like none of it mattered. I know it didn't mean anything to you, you said it yourself. We were both worried about Maddie and all…but it meant something to me."

Rayna fought back the tears that gathered at the corner of her eyes. "I don't know what to do anymore, Deacon," she whispered. "Everything is falling apart. I don't even know how I got here, to this point. None of it was supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to be holding it together for everyone else, my girls and my label, and I feel like I'm two seconds away from falling every day. This isn't me. None of it is me."

She looked so lost and so broken, that it killed him. He still had her hand, and he pulled her in, and brought her down on his lap until she rested her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and just tried to let all the frustration and anger of the last three weeks melt away. She was here now, and that's all that mattered.

"Maybe it all happened this way for a reason, darlin," he said quietly. "That it all led up to now. Maybe this is our chance to put all those broken pieces back together."

"Maybe." _It meant something_, she wanted to say. It all meant something. She didn't know how she'd ever compared a clean slate to a lifetime's worth of history. "Just give me some time to figure it all out, Deacon. Luke…..and the girls…."

She felt him sigh against her back, but he didn't say anything else.

They stayed that way for a long time, and she finally felt the peace she'd come up here looking for. At least for a little while.

She shivered against the night air, and he rubbed her bare arms with his palms. "It's getting chilly out here." He said softly.

"I know," Rayna murmured. She didn't open her eyes. "I should go."

"You should stay," he said, his voice low next to her ear as he pressed a kiss to her neck and she shivered. It had nothing to do with being cold.

_I should do a lot of things_, she thought.

But she stayed.


	5. Chapter 5

There was something surreal about waking up in that bed, at the cabin. Like going back in time 20 years. Everything was the same. He'd always been that way. Once he got things the way he liked it, he didn't change things. Ever. He was not a creature of change.

The fish was gone. The big disgusting thing with giant teeth she had complained about since the day he hung it up there above the fireplace in the bedroom, and he'd insisted she could decorate however she wanted but "Bruce" was staying right there on that wall.

But that thing. was nowhere in sight now, just a big empty spot on the wall.

He'd gotten rid of his fish for her.

That melted her heart on the spot.

The Eternity sign was still there.

The spot next to her that had heated her all night was empty.

With a contented sigh Rayna rolled out of the bed.

She leaned in the archway, wearing nothing but one of his flannel shirts and watching him as he messed around in the kitchen cooking eggs at the stove and pouring coffee, shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey," Deacon said, his face breaking into a smile as he noticed her standing there, like every fantasy he'd ever had come true. Searching her face, he looked for regret. He looked for doubt. He found none. His smile got a little bit bigger.

"Hey," Rayna said softly, with a little smile of her own. She liked him this way, all muscles and sex-personified and he absolutely had no idea how much he was turning her on.

Deacon put the plates on the table and walked over by her, pulling her in by the edges of that shirt.

"You look pretty good in my shirt."

"Oh you think so, huh?"

It marveled Rayna how easily they could just slide back into each other's arms like they'd always been there, like it hadn't been years of being apart and years of hurting each other. It just all melted away.

She pressed her mouth to his, and felt him smile against hers.

"Then again, you'd look pretty good out of it too." He murmered.

She laughed softly. Loving everything about him. Loving how he'd had the strength to change into this amazing wonderful man she always known he was capable of being. Loving that he was the father of her child. Loving him. She always had. She'd just been too damn scared to admit it.

He lifted her, and her legs went around his waist as he carried her back to bed. Breakfast forgotten.

##################################

"I have to go," Rayna said sleepily a little while later as they laid in bed, right back where they'd started. "I should have been at the office an hour ago."

"'kay."

But neither of them moved, content just to lay there and hold each other, all skin and bones and blankets melted together in perfect bliss. Like they were one person, one soul. Two halves of one heart.

Finally, Rayna sighed and sat up, wrapping the sheet around her. "Babe, I need to shower and get a move on. Really."

"Want me to wash your back?"

Deacon laid there with one arm behind his head on the pillow, watching her through half-closed eyes.

He made her feel like they were the only two people in the world.

She laughed. "Tempting. What you up to today?"

"Playing at the Bluebird later for my Thursday night gig. It'll be the last one for awhile. That's about it. Wish you could be there."

Rayna chewed her bottom lip. Because she owed him a Bluebird appearance for that one she'd missed. "I can't," she said with a sigh. "As soon as I walked in there, you know the reporters would be all over me. I don't want that for me, but mostly I don't want it for _you_. You're in a good place, getting your solo career going. I don't want to mess it up."

"I know. I didn't really expect you to come." But he still looked disappointed.

They both were not talking about the inevitable. That ring from Luke was still laying over there on the nightstand where he'd tossed it the night before.

His brow furrowed. "You're gonna tell him, right? I just…well, I wouldn't really feel right going back out on this tour with this hanging over my head, Ray. If he wants to fire me or whatever….I get that. I do."

"Yes." Despite all her claims that she needed to get moving, Rayna leaned over and kiss him sweetly on the mouth. "We're gonna get this all figured out, babe. Put all this behind us, and it'll just be you and me and the girls…."

His arms pulled her in close, and the sheet slipped away. "You think so, huh?"

"It's a promise."

##########################################

By the time Rayna reluctantly kissed him goodbye for the third time and headed to the new H65 offices, it was almost noon. Bucky was already there, directing construction men and consulting with press people and amusing enough, he had Tandy on skype trying to "co-counsel" him.

"Good morning," she said with a smile, grabbing the daily reports off her desk. "So what's our top priority today?"

"Well," Bucky said carefully. "We really need to talk about this whole combined tour idea."

"Right," Rayna said hesitantly. "The tour. I changed my mind about that. Let's just keep it the way it is right now."

Bucky looked confused. "But we already set everything up, just waiting basically for you to press go on it, and we're off to a running start. Ahead of schedule, actually."

"Well," she said, trying to find the "right" words. "Some things have happened, and there's not going to be a combined tour. So undo it."

"What does Luke think about this? I mean, should I conference his manager? Is this scheduling conflicts, because those we can work around." Bucky said, pointing to the papers in his hand. "I know he was pretty upset about the wedding delay."

"Um….he doesn't exactly know yet," Rayna admitted. "But he will soon. And while we're at it…..there's not going to be a wedding in November, either. "

You could have heard a pin drop.

"Um…..okay," Bucky said hesitantly. "Are we going for 2016 then?"

"There's not going to be one," Rayna said with quiet determination. "At all. "

Then Tandy's face popped back up on the damn ipad screen sitting on the desk. "Oh no." She said firmly. "No no, no. Tell me you _did not_."

"Didn't what?"

"Rayna Jaymes Wyatt, I can see it in your face from 2000 miles away! Tell me you did not sleep with D-."

"Okay y'all," Rayna cut her off quickly. "Tandy, I love ya but I'm just gonna turn you off now."

"Don't you dare!" Tandy was yelling. "I'm getting on a plane this afternoon. Bucky! Don't let her do anything stupid before I get there!"

Bucky looked thoroughly confused by the exchange of unsaid information that was happening and he had clearly missed.

Rayna flipped the off button.

"There," she said with a smile, turning to her long-time manager. "Now let's stop worrying about my personal life and get the day's business done, shall we?"

End of Discussion.

########################################################

He wished she was there.

Deacon pulled out a lot of old songs that night at the Bluebird. Ones he hadn't thought about in a long, long time. Because they were about her, and she'd been on his mind this morning since the second he kissed her goodbye and watched her drive away.

He was still trying to convince himself that last night hadn't been some kind of dream, waking up with her asleep in his arms like she had never left. Everything he'd ever wanted was so close now, within arm's reach, and yet in a way it still felt so far away.

When he came back to the practice room after the show was done, after the fans had cleared out, and opened his guitar case to put it away, there was a red guitar pick laying in the bottom.

Might have not meant much to the casual observer, but to him, it was just….everything.

Deacon picked it up and knew what three letters would be on the bottom before he ever turned it over. Sure enough, written with a black sharpie. Three tiny letters that weren't much and yet they were his entire world.

_ILY _

She'd been there.

He couldn't believe she remembered.

Back in the early days, it had been their thing. Hiding those picks where the other would find them. A little message between the two of them, a little way to say they cared that was just between them. It meant something back then.

It meant something now.

He laughed quietly. _Only Ray. _

The manager, Karen, walked by the room on her way to restock bottles. "Hey Deacon, great show." She gave him a knowing wink.

"Thanks." He tucked the pick into his front shirt pocket, close to his heart, and picked up his phone off the table nearby. There was a message from her there.

_Sorry I couldn't stay but I listened from the back hall. You sounded amazing. _

He shot a quick one back. Short. To the point.

_Miss you already. ILY _

So close and yet so far away.

#############################################

True to her word, Rayna's beloved only sibling barged into her house at almost midnight that night.

"Well hello to you too," Rayna said, annoyed, as she sat at the kitchen counter working on contracts. "Ever hear of knocking? And isn't it a little late?"

Tandy put her hands on her hips. "I just took the worst flight ever with two layovers to get here and get some answers out of you, sister."

"You probably wasted your time."

"Are the girls here?"

"They're in bed."

"Luke? Is Luke here?"

Rayna didn't even look up from her laptop. "Luke has decided to ignore my calls for the last three days, so no, he is not here."

"Good," Tandy sat in the chair next to her with a thud. "So now you can tell me what the hell is going on."

She sighed. "I just….came to the conclusion that my life has been going in the wrong direction, Tandy. And I need to fix that."

Tandy raised her eyebrows. "And you're fixing it by getting in Deacon's bed?"

"I didn't even say that!"

"It's written all over your face, honey," Tandy said. "The face of a woman who just _got some_."

She felt the blush rise in her neck. "Really, Tandy. You have such a nice way of putting things."

There was a reason they called her sister the Mouth of the South.

"There's a lot of feelings involved here and I'm not sure you're taking them into consideration."

"Well, I'm so glad you're so worried about my feelings," Rayna said with an edge of sarcasm. "But I'm fine."

"I'm not worried about _yours_," Tandy said without qualms. "You cannot keep going halfway with that man, Rayna. Either you're all in or you're all out. He's the one who is going to get hurt, and so is Maddie if this doesn't work six months down the road."

"I thought of all that," she said quietly. But she couldn't keep the smile off her face when she thought again about going to sleep next to him last night, and waking this morning in the bed that had been theirs. She wanted that. Every night and day for the rest of her life. For the first time in forever she _really_ knew what she wanted, and it was become more clear by the second. "Believe me, it's all I've been thinking of."

"And what about Luke?"

_Thanks Tandy, always gotta rain on my happy thought parade. _

"Luke…." Rayna sighed deeply. "Luke is a good man. And I do love him. But I think a lot of the reason I said yes was because the idea of being with Deacon again scared me to death, and Luke protected me from that. And that's not a reason you marry someone."

"You're going to break his heart, you know."

"I know."

They were both quiet for a few minutes, and then Tandy went to the wine cabinet and came back with a bottle of Chardonnay and an opener.

"I'm glad you're here," Rayna said with a smile. "I missed you. The girls will be excited to see you in the morning."

"Me too," her sister said, pouring two glasses and handing one over. "Cheers," they clinked.

"Now time for some gossip," Tandy demanded. "Tell me the good stuff. How did this all happen anyway?"

"Um….It happened on the road trip," Rayna admitted. "In the car. Literally."

"Oh good lord," Tandy said, standing back up and going back to the cabinet.

"What are you doing?"

"Honey, this is going to require a lot more than one bottle of wine."

_ ############################################# _

By Saturday night, she still hadn't seen Luke, and she was starting to get not only annoyed but bothered by the conflicting conversation she'd had with Bucky earlier that day.

_Now is a really bad time to break off this engagement, Rayna. _

_ Bucky, I cannot be engaged with one man and sleeping with another. That's wrong on so many levels, and it is not me. It's bad enough that it…happened this way in the first place. _

_ Well, you're not going to see either of them for two months anyway. It would look better to make it seem like you and Luke drifted apart. Otherwise you're going to look like a diva who can't make up her mind, Rayna. And that is not good press right now. _

Bucky had a point, and she didn't want to admit it but he was probably right. The press was going to eat them alive when word leaked out.

Also eating at her was the fact that she'd promised Deacon she would talk to Luke before they went back out on the road. All three of them were leaving tomorrow. Buses packed, ready to go, two tours headed in two different directions.

Resolutely, she headed to the Ryman for Luke's concert, determined to clean up the mess she had made once and for all.

She shot Luke a message on the way there.

_Can we talk before the show? I'm on the way. _

A few minutes later, his answer._ We should. I miss you. See you in a few. _

_ ################################ _

Rayna stood on the side of the stage for awhile, watching Deacon's soundcheck, trying to keep her eyes carefully neutral as she figured Luke would be appearing about any second. She just wanted to get this over with.

Trina, that backup singer from the day in the airport, appeared and came to stand next to her.

"Uh….hey," Rayna said, forcing a smile. "Nice to see you again."

Trina didn't bat an eyelash before she said. "You really should just let him go, you know."

Rayna did a double take. "Uh….excuse me?"

"I'm gonna say what no one else has the guts to say to you," Trina said without missing a beat. "You're no good for him. You keep him around and yank his leash whenever it's convenient, and then throw his faults back in his face like you haven't made any mistakes."

_Seriously, who the hell does this woman think she is_? "Listen," Rayna said, getting more pissed by a second. "Number one, this is none of your damn business. And Number two, you don't know anything about me so why don't y'all just go take a-."

Luke chose that moment to walk over by the two of them.

"Whoa there," he said quickly, putting a hand between their two faces, which were now about six inches apart. "Although a catfight would be pretty amusing for all these guys to watch, bloodying up either of your pretty faces isn't a good idea."

Trina raised her eyebrows, shot Rayna a knowing look, and stalked away.

Luke turned to Rayna in surprise. "Now what the hell was that all about?"

Deacon was watching from the stage as well. Trying pretty hard not to laugh because he could see it all over Rayna's face. Jealous eyes. She was ready to take that girl down.

He watched then as she took Luke's arm and they walked off and disappeared into one of the practice rooms.

_This is it_, he thought. _After tonight it'll be all good and we can move on with our lives._

But a half hour later, when he came off the stage and Luke got ready to go on for his soundcheck, he saw Rayna standing off to one side. Luke had a pretty damn big grin on his face. Rayna looked like she was having a pretty hard time trying not to get upset.

And she still had a ring on her finger.

He shot her a look. One of their silent conversations.

_You didn't tell him. _

_ I'm so sorry. _

Her heart sunk as she watched him shake his head in anger and stalk down the hallway_. _

_####################################_

Rayna knew Deacon was mad, and she knew she owed him an explanation.

Luke had pretty much floored her when they talked earlier.

"_I'm so sorry, Rayna. I was acting like a jealous jackass. You forgive me?" _

_ For an apology, it wasn't much of one, she surmised. But then she realized the man had tears in his eyes. _

_Oh good god_,_ she thought. This is worse than Chinese water torture. What was it they always said? There was no easy way to break a man's heart? _

Everything she'd been ready to say that pretty much went out the window, and she'd reluctantly settled for a compromise to Bucky's plan instead.

_I really_ _think we need to take these two months apart and think about some stuff,_ _Luke, she said quietly. And see where we are in December. Figure out what we both want."_

_ He didn't look too happy with that. "Is that a take it or leave it offer?" _

_ "Yeah," she said softly. "I guess it is." _

_ "You still keepin that on your finger, then?" _

_ Rayna stared down at the ring. Swallowed hard around the lump building in her throat. "Yeah. I guess I am." _

She watched as Deacon launched into his set. She still had that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Then she realized when he went into his second song, he was playing the song they'd written on the road trip. The one they'd both agreed, as amazing it was, it was their song and theirs only. Saved for later, for some day when they could be onstage singing it together. It was good, she knew it was damn good. It was also damn…expressive. He'd changed the words, but not much.

_But in my mind, we're somewhere in my car _

_ And it's raining hard on the streetlight glow _

_ You got your lips on mine, it's gasoline on fire _

_ I never will forget, you grabbed my shirt _

_ And pulled it over my head _

_ And your fingertips slide up and down my back _

_ Breathin hard, steamin up the glass _

_ I'd give anything if I could bring it back_

Yep, Deacon was pissed, alright. And now, so was she.

**The song they wrote is "Somewhere in my Car" by Keith Urban, I think it goes pretty well here **** I think I'm supposed to say I don't own that song or any of these characters, I just borrow them from Nashville for awhile. Thanks for reading, I love your reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

Deacon could see Rayna standing off to the side of the stage, arms crossed, boot tapping, the entire time he was singing. And she was not tapping that foot because she was happy. Halfway through the set she disappeared.

_Good_, he thought as he came off the stage. _Let her be mad. Let her know how it feels. _

Frustrated, he headed for his dressing room.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They never seemed to be able to get it right.

Halfway there, he passed Rayna leaning against the wall.

He kept his head up and kept walking, but she got him by the corner of his shirtsleeve.

"Hey, I wanna talk to you," she demanded.

"Well, I don't wanna talk to you," he said. "You still got that ring on your finger, huh? Guess everything is going according to plan."

Rayna's face fell. "Don't be like that. I just wanted a chance to explain."

"So start talkin."

"Well….Bucky thinks it's best to….wait a few months. It'll look more like we just grew apart and less like I broke off one man for another. So I talked to Luke and I told him…well, I told him we should just take the time on the tour to….consider our options."

"So you didn't break it off with him."

"Not….completely."

Deacon's mouth was set in a hard line. "Whatever Bucky thinks, huh? Yeah sure. Whatever. I'm outta here. Have a nice tour."

"Oh no," she was not letting him off the hook that easy. "We are _not_ done."

A couple people standing nearby turned to look at them, whispering behind their hands.

Rayna pulled him down a side hallway out of view and into the nearest empty room, which when she opened the door, she hoped for a coat room and it happened to be a utility closet. _Dammit._ This was not going to go well.

"Really. You want to argue in the broom closet? I'd say this is the first time we've been in a closet at the Ryman, but it isn't," he said with a smirk. "There's that one on the second floor with the broken lock on the door-."

"Don't even go there, that was 20 years ago," she muttered, feeling her face flush at the memory. "Why did you do that? That damn song. Now everyone is going to know, every person in town and their mother is going to be speculating about where it came from."

His eyes were dark as he leaned against the closed door and stared her down. "I don't care, Ray. I want the whole world to know. Why don't you?"

Her voice faltered. "It's not that I don't, Deacon. I'm just trying to….hurt everybody the least amount possible."

"You'll only hurt yourself that way."

"Why does this have to be so damn hard?"

"It's only hard because you're making it hard, Ray." He said, shaking his head. "It's not hard. I love you. You love me. End of story."

He took a few steps towards her, the room dimly lit by a bare overhead lightbulb. She tried to ecape, but her back was against the wall. Literally. The cold brick was almost a relief because the rest of her was on _fire._ She put her hand between them to push him back, but it lingered there on his chest. "I'm not done being mad at you."

His eyes crinkled into a smile. "You will be. Maybe we should rewrite history a little."

He didn't have to say anymore for her to know exactly what he was referring to. June 2, 1994. She remembered because it was the first night she'd played on the stage here. And the night they'd scarred that poor janitor for life. The man still worked here and _still _could not look her in the eye.

She laughed softly. "This is a terrible idea, you know."

"I know. But the lock on the door ain't broken this time. I checked."

She closed her eyes and tried to make the pounding in her temples go away. "Please," she whispered. "Please, Deacon, I just want…."

Close enough to breath the same air.

"tell me what you want, Ray" his voice was low next to her ear.

"You." She admitted, her breath shallow. "I want you. And I don't want to. I want all these things that are so wrong….."

It happened so fast, one minute he was staring down at her with those dark blue eyes that could see her soul, and the next minute they were yanking each other's clothes off.

God, she was dying, _dying _as she reached for his belt buckle and his hands pushed up her skirt. This was like the beginning all over again. All those concerts they'd played when they were just starting out, burning up the stage and hardly able to keep their hands off each other when they came off it. Nothing, nothing in her life had ever beat this. With him. Nothing, no other man would ever compare.

_Hurry,_ she kept echoing in her mind_. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry._ Before she started thinking too hard. Before doubts, and worries and responsibilities took over.

"Deacon," she murmured, closing her eyes as he kissed her neck. "I think…."

"Don't think so hard, baby. Just feel."

##################################

The music pounding through the brick wall at her back stopped, reminding Rayna that the man who technically thought she was still going to marry him was on that stage. Boy, she had messed this all up good. Gone from one half of #Layna, king and queen of country to one half of….well, she didn't even know what to call them, except that half of her clothes were missing and Deacon's pants were around his ankles. It would have been rather humorous if she didn't feel so damn guilty.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, emotionally and physically drained and let him go about righting her up again and fixing all the zippers and buttons between the two of them. She couldn't even speak.

Rayna just kind of stood there, staring at him, all silent and stunned. Her hair was a crazy mess , and he coulda sworn her eyes looked teary, which was so unlike that "woman of steel" façade she always had on.

"Aw, darlin." He pulled her in for a hug

She closed her eyes. "Why does this keep happening, Deacon?"

"Baby, I've been trying to figure that out for 26 years."

"How am I supposed to go out there and face him?"

Deep inside now, she knew. She'd never be able to marry Luke. She'd never be able to walk down an aisle and promise in front of god to share a life with him, and live with the dishonesty of knowing that he'd never really be getting her entire heart. She'd done that to Teddy, tried to tell herself she could live with it.

She couldn't live with it anymore. It was nothing but a lie, a show. Somehow the stage had become her real life.

"So you and that backup chick…."

He laughed softly. "We're really just friends, Ray."

Her eyes glowered at him.

His eyes said enough for both of them, gazing down at her with such fire that she forgot all thoughts of guilt. She forgot everything else except that_ this_ was the man she was supposed to be with. And come hell or high water, they'd figure it out.

He kissed the end of her nose. "I'll go out first. Give yourself five minutes."

As if five minutes was going to fix everything.

############################################

Thankfully, the hall was empty when she walked out five long minutes later. Deacon was nowhere in sight. She ran a hand over her hair and smoothed her blue and silver blouse, and hoped to god she didn't look like she had just gotten done doing _that._

That man had always been pretty damn good at getting her to let her guard down back in the day. Especially in closets.

Unfortunately, she came around the corner and found herself face to face with Luke after he'd just come off of the stage. He was surrounded by people, photographers, and members of his band.

He looked surprised that she was still there.

And people were watching. Many, many people.

"Hey, I was looking for you," she pasted on a smile and slipped her arm around his waist while the flashbulbs popped. "Great show."

"That always what it's about, right?" Luke said with his classic grin. For the cameras. "Just putting on a good show."

They were both putting on a show now. She could feel it. The energy between them that had been good for months was cold. She wanted to care about that more than she did, but the truth was all she felt was guilt. Fake smiles and real guilt. That's what it came down to now.

As soon as all those people wandered off and she was left alone with Luke, an uncomfortable silence filled the air between them. It was like neither of them knew much what to say.

It was all different now. There was a distance that hadn't been there before.

"See you tomorrow then?" Rayna said uncertainly. "For the big send off?"

Tomorrow, not tonight.

"Guess we aren't gonna be making a private goodbye, huh?" He said it in jest, but there was an edge underneath it.

"Luke…."

"I get it, Rayna. Yeah. See you tomorrow." And he left her standing out in the hall alone as he went in his dressing room and closed the door in her face. Hard.

She closed her eyes against the throbbing in her temples, feeling awful but also feeling just a little bit relieved. With a sigh she headed for the door. Time to go home and finish packing. Both of the tours were rolling out tomorrow. She wouldn't see Luke _or_ Deacon for two months.

It was a little bit of a relief. Time to herself to get her heart and her head straightened out was exactly what she needed.

#################################

"Dammit!" Luke said as soon as he closed the door behind Rayna. The beer in his hand hit the wall and shattered everywhere in a mess of glass shards.

He rubbed his face with both hands and with a sigh, counted to 10 before he threw open the door again and went to find a damn broom. She was nowhere in sight now, gone home. He shouldn't have gotten so mad, and he knew it. Didn't want them to go off on their tours with an argument hanging between them. She was leaving tomorrow as well. Probably wanted to spend one last night with the girls. But something was so off with them, and now being apart for all these weeks, he was losing hope in fixing it. They'd already nixed the combined tour idea, his manager told him. They told him her people were against it, but he knew better. She was pulling away, big time. Whether it was cold feet about the wedding, or something else, he wasn't sure yet.

He grabbed the broom, but a second before he closed door to the utility closet, something caught his eye, and he reached down to pick it up off the cement floor.

Something small and shiny.

A silver button. 

_ Son of a bitch. _

#########################################

"I wish you didn't have to go now." Daphne hugged her mom around the waist.

"I know me too," Rayna said, forcing her tone to be cheerful. "But you girls are going to come see me in Indianapolis in two weeks when you're on fall break. That'll be fun, right?" She laid a hand on Maddie's shoulder.

Maddie's eyes were red, she'd cried half the night. Even with all the troubles they'd been having lately, she still didn't want her to go.

"You girls will be so busy with school and your friends, it'll go fast," Rayna said, trying to sound reassuring. "Right?"

Maddie still didn't look very enthused. She dug in her purse for a minute. "Dad said before to give you this. I don't know why. Is it good luck or something?"

She looked down at the red guitar pick Maddie had pressed into her hand, and it was pretty damn hard to keep from changing her mind about leaving right then and there.

"Yeah," she forced a smile that hid how much her heart was hurting. "Something like that."

Maddie swiped at her eyes, gave a sigh, and hugged her one more time. Then she walked over to where Deacon stood nearby.

She couldn't look at the two of them saying goodbye, or she knew she really would fall apart.

Rayna glanced at Teddy, who had brought the girls. "Keep me updated. Let me know how things are going?"

"We always do." They'd been through this routine many times before. It never got any easier.

"Have a good trip, Mom," Daphne sighed. "Don't worry, I'll take care of her."

"I know you will, sweetie. You're a great sister."

Cameras were flashing all around them. This was a huge deal, their two "rival" tours starting on the same weekend, and the newsreels were all trying to get a story.

Daphne shielded her eyes. "They're so annoying, mom. Do they have to follow us around all the time? Just because you're marrying Luke? It never used be this way."

Luke had been barking out orders and pretty much keeping his distance, but now he came to stand next to them. "That's the price of fame, Daphne. You get used to it."

Daphne did not look much impressed.

"So, off to take on the world," Rayna said to him, forcing her tone to be cheerful. "I guess I'll talk to you soon, then?" Their two tours didn't even get anywhere near each other for weeks.

He didn't really say much at all. He seemed much colder even than he'd been last night. Hid behind the smile.

And people were watching in all directions.

_Make it look good,_ Bucky kept telling her. _At least for now._

Luke just kind of….walked away from her and climbed on his bus without looking back.

She wasn't gonna say it didn't hurt a little, because it did, to be treated with such cool indifference. But she had hurt him, and she knew she deserved it.

###########################################

Deacon finally got it now, how hard it must have been all those years that Rayna was out on tour and he was with her band. He'd seen them say goodbye a million times, but it was all different now. Now he was the parent leaving someone behind too. Seeing the tears in Maddie's eyes was heartbreaking.

"See you soon, alright?" He said, hugging her hard. "Maybe at the end of the month? It'll be awhile, but at least you get to see your mom in two weeks. And we can skype, if I ever figure out how to do that."

She sniffled against his shirt. "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Maddie. I gotta go. Be good."

She stepped back, to where Daphne stood next to Teddy back at a safe distance. Daphne raised her hand and waved.

Just before he got on the bus, he looked over and Rayna was getting on her bus as well. He hated that he couldn't even damn kiss her goodbye.

Their eyes locked for a second.

Just a message between the two of them. No words necessary.

_Love you. _

The tours were on.


	7. Chapter 7

_Ugh, well I'd rather not do that again. Ever._ Rayna thought as she walked out of the radio station in Indianapolis after yet another interview. It would be a lot more enjoyable if anyone wanted to talk about her #1 record or her sold-out tour, but all they seemed to focus on was a "Layna" wedding, and she refused to discuss that. After 20 minutes of awkward bullet-dodging and steering the conversation back in the right direction, she'd given Bucky the "save me" look through the glass, and he'd gotten her the hell out of there.

It never used to be this way, but Rayna had to admit that all the hullaballoo that came with being the touring Queen of Country was no longer as thrilling as it once had been. She was realizing more every day that she'd rather be in her Highway 65 office making her label run. She'd never quit completely performing, never quit making music, but it was time for some big changes.

This had to do 100% with the fact that she was desperately missing some important people in her life. Three of them in particular.

"Well, that went good," Bucky said, always two steps behind her. "And the show last night got amazing reviews."

"I guess," she frowned. "You know, this used to be a hell of a lot more fun when it was actually about the music."

He sighed. "This is a different generation, Rayna. They eat up this media stuff."

"Yeah, well, I kinda thought they'd be getting bored with what my shoes look like by now," she grumbled. "What's on the schedule next?"

"Meet and greet at SpinCity Music, and then you actually have a little time off until tomorrow when we roll out. You should get some rest," Bucky advised as her limo pulled up. "Relax a little. The rest of the week is crazy again, and you seem….stressed."

Stressed wasn't even the right word. It didn't help that Teddy had called earlier to tell her the girls had decided not to come out this week. They were busy with school and music lessons and their friends, and he thought it would be better for her to just see them in three weeks when the first half of of the tour was over.

It hurt her feelings badly, but she forced it not to show. They were growing up, after all. Too cool to hang out with parents anyway, she supposed. Even famous ones.

But it still stung.

Rayna opened her purse to pull out her phone, and fingered the red guitar pick she'd stuck in the bottom corner of the case, a smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

She had found that one this morning, in one of her boots. _Go figure_, she thought wryly. Leave it to Deacon to break into her bus before she left and hide them all over. The man would never admit to being thoughtful, but little things like that meant more than he'd ever know. The guitar picks. The yellow roses that had been delivered before a show last week with no card attached. Only he would remember that yellow roses were her favorite, because they reminded her of the ones in her mother's garden when she was a child.

It made her miss him like crazy.

It also made her realize how much she needed him in her life. Every day, every night, for the rest of it. They'd had very little time to discuss….well, everything that had happened since Maddie's surgery. Even the little time they'd stolen away to be together, talking kept turning to other things. Not that she minded _that_ much.

Her face flushed a little at the memory of that whole Ryman incident. God, they were good together. Even in closets.

And then there was the issue of that other ring. Deacon's ring, and the proposal that accompanied it, waiting at home for her in her jewelry box. It was too soon to think of any of that, but it lingered in the back of her mind always.

Yes, she really did need to see him.

With that thought, Rayna climbed into the limo and punched his number into her phone.

######################################

Every time Deacon looked down and saw her face on his screen lately, it was pretty damn hard not to keep the foolish grin off his face.

"Hey."

"I was just sitting here thinking about you."

He turned away a little, not missing the fact that Luke was standing 5 feet away talking to his tour director and probably hanging on every word. Trina was watching him as well, with raised eyebrows. "Uh yeah, me too."

"He's standing right there, isn't he?"

"Uh….Yep."

"This is getting ridiculous."

"Well I can't argue with you there." The last two weeks had been hell. It was pretty clear to everyone on the crew now that the only reason Luke had kept him on this tour was because he was damn determined to make him as miserable as possible. Cutting sets, cutting him down in front of the guys at every corner. Deacon never said a word in return, and that just seemed to piss off the guy more.

He glanced at Luke again, then walked out of the room and around the corner.

"You don't sound too good. Everything alright?"

"It's fine."

"It's not fine. I can tell."

Rayna sighed. "Well, it's just….the girls aren't coming out to see me this week after all. I guess Daphne has a science project to finish, and Maddie is just plain mad at the world and wants to hang out with her friends…. It's kind of making me feel lousy."

"Oh, I see."

"They're growing up, and I feel like I'm missing it," she sounded sad. "Not that I don't love….all of this, but it's silly, I never used to get so quite so homesick."

He knew that feeling. He tried to make the best of every second with Maddie now, but those years without her….he'd never let go of those regrets. "Three weeks, right? And it'll be Thanksgiving and everyone will be home again til after Christmas. Just keep holding onto that thought." He was. It was one of the only things getting him through every day right now.

She didn't sound too reassured. "You're in Bloomington, right?"

"Yep. Til tomorrow night. Not enough time to come home, too much time sitting around doing nothin," he said with a sigh. "I miss Maddie so much, Ray. That whole skype thing just doesn't do it for me. I mean, I'm grateful for the career chance and all, it's just….so damn hard. Kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"I know. Me too. Both of my girls. I'm on the way to a store appearance, and then nothing until tomorrow. You know, we're in Indianapolis," her voice trailed off. "That's only 50 miles. Not too long of a cab ride. Maybe we should miss em together."

He laughed quietly. "Well, Miss Jaymes if I didn't know any better I'd think that the girls wouldn't be the only one you're missing."

"You'd be thinking right. So…you coming or not?"

Tempting. So tempting.

Deacon hesitated. "You know I wanna see you more than anything….but e're playing a pretty messed up game here, Ray. And photographers are following you around everywhere. I could care less, but Bucky was right, it's not gonna look too good on your end right now if anyone finds out. We should probably wait til this leg of the tour is over to let anything get out."

"I know," she said. "That's why you should come here. Nobody will be looking for you here. If I walk out front door of this hotel, they'll be on me like bloodhounds."

"You still wearing that shiny gumball?"

"Deacon….."

"Well, I'm just askin."

Silence, then Rayna reluctantly said "Yes. But only because I haven't seen him. I think it's something I should do in person."

He knew he should say no. He'd had enough time out on the road in the last few weeks also to think about things without them…distracting each other. And one thing He knew for sure was that he should be letting her finish things off with Luke before they got any more tangled up in each other than they already were. Cole had pointed out so many times his ability to not be able to say no to her. She was both his strength and his weakness.

A few hours later he was in a cab.

They didn't climb out of that king-sized hotel bed until sun had gone down and came back up all over again.

"I'm gonna tell him," Rayna said as they kissed goodbye the next morning. "Next weekend. We're supposed to meet up in L.A to host that ACF charity benefit. I don't care what Bucky says. I don't want to wait any longer."

"So that means you're spending the weekend with him."

His voice was neutral, but she could see the tension in his eyes.

Rayna sighed. "I can't really say no. We gave our word on hosting it months ago. I mean, I guess I could, but it would look in poor taste on my behalf. "

"I get that part."

She leaned up and pressed her mouth against his. "I know what you're thinking. You have nothing to worry about, Deacon. I told you I'd tell him, and I will."

"It's not you I'm worried about," he muttered. "It's him. That guy can give you everything in the world you want, Ray."

"_This_ is what I want," she said softly. "This is where I'm supposed to be."

He sighed, and took her hands in his. "You're sure about that?"

There was absolutely no hesitation in her eyes. "Never been more sure of anything. Just think about it," she said with a little smile. "Next weekend and then like you said, this will be all over. In a few weeks we'll be home…we can have a nice thanksgiving just you me and the girls. Maddie will be so happy when we tell her….I'll even cook dinner."

Deacon laughed. "Uh….well maybe you should let me handle that part."

She smacked his arm. "I'm getting better. You know cooking was never my forte."

He caught her up in his arms and captured her mouth with his. "That sounds amazin, darlin. Not gonna lie, it's a little bit fun, though. Keeping it between us."

He felt like it was the two of them secretly holding hands against the world.

"It is," she slid her arms around his neck, and kissed him again.

IT took every ounce of willpower he had to keep from carrying her back to that bed. "Baby, I'm so sorry but I really do have to go," he murmured.

She sighed, and kissed him once more before reluctantly letting go.

"Three weeks," he promised as he opened the door. "Three more weeks and you're all mine. "

By the time he got downstairs, there was already a message on his phone.

_I've always been yours. _

##################################

Later that afternoon, as their whole crew was checking out of the posh hotel and getting ready to move out on the road again, Bucky handed her a local newpaper.

"What now?" She asked warily.

"You might want to check out the entertainment section," he said with a wince.

Rayna flipped to the back page, and there was a review of the concert they'd just done two days ago. In the bottom corner there was a picture of Deacon. In aviator sunglasses and a baseball cap, walking into the back entrance of her hotel last night. So much for being unnoticed. _Jaymesbourne speculation_? The headline questioned.

She skimmed over the article

_ We all know he spent years in her band…. _

_ Recently wrote a song together…_

_ Jaymes hasn't been seen in public with her fiancé, Luke Wheeler, in two months. Is it because they're on opposite tours, or because there's something going on we don't know about? _

_ "_Yeah, you don't know", she said out loud to know one in particular. "Because it's none of your damn business".

She stuffed the paper in the nearest garbage can.

"What do you want me to do? Make a statement?"

"No," Rayna shook her head. "I'm supposed to meet Luke for that benefit in L.A. next weekend. We committed to that months ago. But.. I think this is it, Bucky. I can't keep doing this. It's….emotionally exhausting, to say the least."

"So you're going to break it off, then. With Luke."

"Yes," she said firmly. "So….do whatever you need to do to get ready for the fallout from that. Cuz there will definitely be fallout. "

"I'm on it."

She climbed back onto her bus, and back on the road they went.

####################################

The week went too fast and kept her too busy with press events to think much about the weekend. Saturday came up before she knew it. They were in Denver now, did a sold out show the night before, a tv interview on the local station that morning, and now she was supposed to fly to L.A. for the benefit.

She and Luke had talked a little during the week, but it was stilted. Mostly impersonal text messages. She resisted the urge to ask him if he'd seen that paper. The distance between them felt like more than a few hundred miles now. It felt like an ocean, and it made her sad.

But it also made her realize she was doing the right thing. Two people couldn't live with an ocean between them.

In their case, it was an ocean that went by the name of Deacon.

It all sounded so cut and dry as Rayna stood in the private airport terminal and Bucky mapped it out. Fly to L.A, do the benefit on Saturday night, hook back up with the crew on Monday morning in Chicago. Sometime in there: break up with fiancé.

If only it could all be as easy as Bucky made it sound.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, bringing her out of fantasy land.

"It's Teddy," she said. "I gotta take this," and she walked a short distance away.

Teddy did not sound too happy. At all.

"We have a problem with Maddie."

"Um…okay. Lay it on me."

"She got picked up with her friends for shoplifting makeup at the mall yesterday."

Rayna sat down on the nearest bench with a thud. "What?! Why on earth would she do that?"

"I'm not really sure. The legal part of it has been taken care of. They were willing to drop the charges because she's my daughter, but I didn't think it was appropriate to let her get off completely. She'll be doing some community service hours. Can you get away for a few days? I think you really need to come home."

She looked at the schedule Bucky had just slipped into her hand. There was literally not one hour free for days. She was supposed to be on the plane to L.A in an hour. This was the make it or break it choice, she knew. If her and Luke didn't show up together for that benefit, the press was going to assume the worst. And they would be right. She needed to be there.

But her girls needed her more.

"Yes," she said. "I'm coming home."

################################################

Rayna pulled up in front of her house at the same time as Teddy pulled up with Maddie, and simultaneously Deacon parked across the street in his own truck.

She'd called him, just to make sure he knew what was going on, and he had insisted on coming home. _This is something we should deal with together, Ray. She's gonna have to get used to us being a united front, right? _

He had a valid point. And seeing Deacon striding across the street now, relief overflowed her that he was there. She'd had to call Luke, and tell him she wasn't coming to L.A. They'd gotten a popular actress to take her place, so it was no big deal in that aspect. But Luke was seriously ticked off, and now she was putting off the breakup once more. And she was going to have to break _that_ news to Deacon after they were done dealing with their rebellious daughter. Frustrating wasn't even the word.

Maddie got out of Teddy's car, and by the stunned look on her daughter's face, Rayna realized Teddy hadn't told her that they were coming home.

Maddie's stricken face darted between all three of her parents.

"I missed you, Maddie," Rayna said quietly but firmly. "And I love you. But we're going to go into that house and have a little talk. "

"Me too," Deacon reached out and gave her a hug. "Missed you a lot."

With that the kid burst into tears.

Rayna watched Deacon walk with her up to the house, giving them a moment together first.

"I already talked to her," Teddy said, running her hands through her hair. "But obviously you need to as well. I'll leave the rest in your hands. Let me know when you're bringing her back later."

She nodded. "Will do. How's Daphne?"

"She's fine. At a sleepover. She'll be sad she missed you." Teddy bid her goodbye, and she was left facing her own front door and the teenager on the other side of it.

With a heavy sigh, Rayna pulled open the door. _Here goes nothing. _

Maddie had gotten over her crying jag and she was slumped on the sofa in the living room, with Deacon slumped on a chair across from her, obviously not making any progress either.

It was slightly humorous, their matching expressions. Deacon was clearly lost as on how to deal with this situation, but she had to give him credit for being there. And for trying. That meant everything.

She wasn't quite sure how to deal with it herself.

"Can you just punish me so I can go to my room," Maddie muttered, arms crossed, and she stood up.

"Sit," Rayna said sternly.

Maddie sulked and flopped back down.

"Maddie, why would you do something like that? If you wanted something that badly, you could have asked your dad or Deacon or I for money, or talked to us," she said, sounding disappointed. "You know stealing is never the answer."

Maddie looked not so mad anymore, but sad. Lost. She looked so lost. "I didn't really need any of that makeup. I guess…..maybe I thought…."

"That if you did something bad enough, we'd come home?" Deacon finished. He rose and came and sat on the other side of Maddie on the couch.

She nodded.

"Well, you certainly got your wish there," Rayna muttered. "I guess I don't really understand. You had the opportunity to come visit me on the tour last week and you chose not to take it. So why this now? "

"Because…" she said in a small voice. "I didn't want to see you for five minutes in between your commercials and radio interviews, Mom. I wanted you to come home. Both of you."

Rayna looked stunned at their daughter's quiet revelation.

Deacon could see something in Maddie's face that "disappointed Mom" Rayna was missing. She hadn't been trying to get herself in trouble. She'd been trying to get attention. In the midst of all the talk about Luke and Rayna's wedding, and him and Rayna being on separate tours, Maddie had literally and figuratively been left behind. "It stinks that everyone is gone, huh?"

She fidgeted with a hole in the knee of her jeans. "It's not the same, being with dad…Teddy… all the time anymore. He doesn't get the…..girl stuff. And he doesn't get the music stuff. And kids at school….all they care about is how famous my parents are. It's hard to know who my real friends are anymore."

"That does suck," Deacon said. "But you don't get what you want by manipulating people, Maddie. Or getting in trouble. You need to talk to us when something is bothering you."

Rayna sat down on the couch on the other side of her from Deacon. "You know even when we aren't here, you can call any time. You know that, right?"

Maddie started to cry, and they both hugged her.

"I know you've been pretty unhappy lately," Rayna said softly. "But it's going to get better, Maddie. We promise you."

He caught her glance over Maddie's head. She had said "we". And for the first time in a long time, it really felt like they were a "We".

"You're mom's right. Hard times just make the good times better. We're a family. We gotta stick together and we'll get through it."

"I'm glad you're here. Both here." Maddie conceded. "But I'm sorry."

"Me too," Rayna said. "But I have to go back tomorrow night, Maddie. This is my job. And Deacon's too. And by the way, you ARE grounded every weekend for the next month. You can spend that doing your 40 hours of community service."

Maddie made a face.

"I think you got off pretty lightly," Rayna said. "Considering the facts. This isn't easy on the rest of us either, you know."

"I know," Maddie sighed. "I guess some day It'll be me out on the road and I'll really know what its like."

"Not for a long, long time." Deacon cut in. "Long time. You have a lot of being a kid left to do."

Rayna hid a smile as his protective stance came out. "Wanna go get some dinner?"

Maddie perked up considerably. "The three of us?"

Rayna met Deacon's gaze over his head. "Yes. The three of us. If that's ok with your dad."

Those words sounded better to his ears than he'd ever imagine. _Your dad._ It had taken awhile to start feeling like he deserved that place in Maddie's life, and he was finally there, sitting there with Rayna, handling the situation together.

This was the way it should be. Always.

They took Maddie out for pizza to a quiet little Italian place on the east side of town. Since she was supposed to be in California, nobody much really knew Rayna was home, and the paparazzi were off her trail for once.

It was so good, so sweet to watch the two of them laughing together. Maddie seemed happier than Rayna had seen her in months.

_This is all she wants_, she realized. _This is all it takes her to be happy. Her family._ Together.

Herself, she felt so much of the tension that had been following her around drain away. There was a lot of work to be done yet, a lot of things to deal with, but it would all happen one way or another. A little at a time. No hurry, no rush.

Deacon's eyes met hers across the table. An unspoken message. _We'll figure it out._

Because they were a "We".


	8. Chapter 8

Rayna would never get over that feeling and how it filled her soul, waking up the next morning wrapped in his arms on the old leather couch, just feet away from where they had sat on the floor writing so many songs. So many memories. It made her a little melancholy, thinking about all those lost years.

Sure the house where she lived with the girls, that was home. And the cabin, that was special too. But this was different. All those good years, all the plans that they'd made. It had started here in this house. There were not so good memories too, but she was trying so hard now to lock those away. Dwelling on the past had cost them too much time already.

She laid there in his arms, content and peaceful, just looking around at everything thinking about how this house was so _him_. The guitars in every corner, remnants of his life from the last 15 years on the walls, the tables, the shelves. And Maddie was present here now too as well. There was a picture of her on the end table. A sweater she'd left behind, books on the coffee table. Her favorite cereal in the cupboard, a schedule from her school on the fridge.

Today was the first day she felt like she belonged here again.

"What you thinkin," Deacon said sleepily, not even opening his eyes. He had his arm across her hip and his face buried in her hair.

"Just happy," she murmured. "What are _you_ thinking?"

"You still steal all the blankets."

She goosed him in the ribs. "I do not."

"Yeah," he said teasing, leaning up on one elbow. "You do. Look you're wrapped up like a mummy and I'm freezing my-."

Laughing, she leaned up and stopped him with a kiss and a smile.

"You love it."

"Damn right I do."

"We should really get moving," she murmured a little while later. "It's almost noon. I want to see Daphne before I leave later."

"Okay." He sat up, but couldn't resist pulling her across his lap when she stood up with the blanket wrapped around her.

She laughed softly. "That's not moving too far. I meant like, to the shower….get dressed maybe."

He gave her that half-ass smile she loved, the one that went up to his eyes, and made her want to stay there all afternoon and kiss every laugh line on his face.

"We'll get to that."

They were not nearly getting to that yet a little while later when Deacon heard the front door slam. _Shit,_ he thought. _Scarlett._ Things had happened so fast with the trouble with Maddie, he hadn't even thought to send her a message and tell her he was back in town and not to come by. But before either him or Rayna could react, he heard another voice.

"Hey Dad, I just need my library book that I for- _oh my god. Grooosssss!"_

Rayna jerked her head up, and Deacon did the same, and before either of them could react, Maddie had her hands over her eyes and was blindly running from the room.

Thank god for blankets.

Deacon swore under his breath, actually so did Rayna as she scrambled around.

Rayna immediately started panicking. "This is bad. This is so bad. For the love of all things, Deacon, _what did you do with my clothes?" _

_ "_Uh, I think some of them are in the kitchen_," _he winced. _"_Maybe the bathroom?"

Yes, they certainly were making the best of the time together lately.

Deacon ran his hands through his hair and pulled his tshirt over his head, and then tossed a flannel shirt in her direction. "Just put that on for now."

"Ugh, she muttered, pulling on her jeans in a hurry. "I thought us being caught by Lamar when I was 17 was bad. What did we just do to our kid?"

######################################.

They paced in the hallway outside Maddie's bedroom for a good twenty minutes like two people facing an international crisis.

"We should say something, right?" Rayna chewed her fingernail. "What do we say?"

"Don't ask me," Deacon said, looking like he wanted to crawl under a rock. "I don't think I'm cut out for this, Ray. Maybe you should just talk to her."

"Oh no," she said, hands on her hips. "You wanted to be a parent, congratulations. Welcome to the hard stuff. And besides, it's your fault!"

"_My_ fault!" He exclaimed. "You're the one who jumped me in the kitchen last night."

"Keep your voice down!" she gestured towards the closed door.

She knocked hesitantly. "Maddie? Can we come in?"

"Are you dressed?" came the muffled sarcastic response.

Deacon raised his eyebrows and smirked at Rayna.

"Not. Funny." She gave him an exasperated look.

"It's kinda funny," he whispered back. "I think she gets that sarcastic wit thing from me."

She raised her eyebrows. "You think?"

The door was flung open. Maddie sat on the bed with a thud and watched both of her parents pace like crazy people.

"Just so you know," she informed, folding her arms across her chest. "I didn't really see anything. I closed my eyes pretty fast. But it was still gross. Aren't you guys a little old for….that?"

Deacon closed _his_ eyes pretty fast at the mention of "that". Good god, they'd probably scarred her for life. It had to be every teenager's worst nightmare to realize your parents weren't sleeping in twin beds in separate rooms.

"Um….okay," Rayna said carefully. "Do you have any….questions?"

"Yeah," Maddie said no holds barred. "Does this mean you're not marrying Luke?"

"That wasn't the kind of questions I meant."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Mom, I've taken biology class. Please don't embarrass any of us any more by giving me a lecture about the birds and the bees like you tried to do when I was 11."

Well thank god Rayna had already taken care of that, Deacon thought. Because he'd had about as much as he thought he could take for one day without a high blood pressure-inducing parental stroke brought on by a conversation about the logistics of sex.

Deacon stopped pacing, and his eyes met Rayna's, hands in his pockets. "But you didn't answer her question, Ray," he said in a somber voice. "Are you gonna marry Luke or not?"

It was not lost on him that the fact that she hadn't gone to L.A last night meant this _still_ wasn't over. And maybe a little of that fear was still there, that he'd never measure up to that guy, with all his hit records and horses and money. That she would want more than this house and this life. More than him.

It seemed to him that the silence that lasted only a few seconds went on forever.

"No," she said quietly. "I'm not."

Maddie was so startled she dropped the textbook she'd been holding on the desk with a thud. "Really?"

"Really," Rayna confirmed, nodding her head. But her eyes never left Deacon's.

A muscle in his face moved slowly, and he kind of got a little smile on his face.

"Okay," Maddie said quickly. "This is just getting too weird." They were just standing there staring at each other, like having a conversation with no words. And besides the fact, her mom was wearing Deacon's shirt. "I really just came here to pick up this book that I forgot and go back to Dad's…Teddy's, so I'm …..gonna go and try real hard to forget any of this ever happened."

She hedged around them, still staring at each other.

So they were together. This was what she had wanted for a really long time, but now it was just…gonna take some getting used to.

"Next time lock the door!" Maddie yelled as she went down the stairs.

_Adults are so weird_.

###############################

Deacon was bummed to have to get back on the road, but besides that embarrassing incident, Maddie had seemed a little better later that night when they stopped at Teddy's to see both of the girls and say goodbye.

Teddy kinda gave them the raised eyebrow look that they showed up together, but didn't comment.

Maddie didn't comment either. But she seemed a little better, a little more okay with both of them leaving again, and promised her behavior would be better. Daphne was pouty, but reluctantly hugged them goodbye when Rayna reminded her they'd all be together in a few weeks for thanksgiving.

And then he was on his plane, and Rayna was on hers.

He caught up with the crew in Chicago, and it was back to business.

They had a huge show the next night at Soldier Field, which would be one of the biggest he'd ever played. It was a little intimidating, but pretty damn exciting. Whatever he thought about the guy headlining this tour, being on it was a chance he didn't regret taking. This was the big time.

He walked into sound check the next afternoon, feeling a hell of a lot happier than he had in months. Everything was gonna work out, one way or another. That whole one day at a time motto sounded like a lot of crap, but right now it was working.

Except that Luke Wheeler was in about the pissiest mood he'd ever seen him in, and taking it out on everyone within spitting distance.

Deacon really didn't blame the guy. Much. The worst wasn't even over yet.

"Have a nice weekend off?" Luke said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It was alright," he shrugged. "Had a little bit of a problem with Maddie, but she's okay now. I'm sure Rayna told you why she couldn't come to the benefit."

"Yeah she did. Always something with that daughter of yours, isn't it," Luke said mildly. "Funny, Rayna raised her on her own all those years before and she seemed to do just fine without you."

Deacon silently counted to 10 in his head before answering. "Well she doesn't have to now," he said stiffly. "So you better get used to the idea that I ain't going anywhere."

Luke shook his head and gave a short laugh. "You better get used to the idea that you aren't gonna win this one, Deacon." And he brushed past him, purposely bumping his shoulder.

Deacon watched him take the stage for his soundcheck. _You better get used to the idea_, _Wheeler_, he thought silently. _Pretty sure I already did_.

The show that night was one of the wilder ones. Luke's fans were a rowdy, beer swilling bunch, and they showed it. Afterwards, there was a huge fan club party backstage, and the drinking and carousing continued.

Deacon wasn't interested in any of that. He put up his stuff and got ready to head back to the hotel. A little peace and quiet would be nice. Maybe give Ray a call just to say goodnight. He knew she didn't have a show until Thursday. And he missed her already.

"You heading back?" Trina came to stand next to him as he surveyed the crowd of mid-20s fans backstage and the bottles of booze being passed around. She herself looked like she'd had enough already.

"Yep," he said with a sigh. "I'm out. See ya tomorrow."

"Want to hang out?"

She'd broken up with that boyfriend of hers again, and kinda been hinting around that they should have some fun.

He shook his head with a smile. "Don't think so."

"Oh right," she said, with a regretful frown. "She got you back now, didn't she? I mean…isn't that why you're walking around with that look on your face? Cuz a few weeks ago you looked like your dog died and now…..I think you passed that look off on Luke." She gestured to where Luke was in the middle of all those fans doing shots from a bottle of tequila. "Boy he's been mean as a bulldog the last few days. I mean meaner than usual."

Deacon laughed. "Good night, Trina. Take care of yourself."

"G'night Deacon. It's good to see you smile again."

One thing he'd couldn't ignore, though, as he stood there, was Wheeler was drinking. A lot. Luke always had a beer in his hand after the shows, but this hard liquor thing was new. And he seemed pretty friendly with a group of female fans who had apparently come to the concert for a bachelorette party.

Deacon watched as Luke put his arm the waist of a curvy blonde who couldn't have been much older than Juliette or Scarlett. He watched as the rest of the girls in the group wandered off to get the bride-to-be loaded.

And he watched as Luke slipped a room key into her hand.

###########################################

The next day at rehearsal, Deacon tried real damn hard to keep his mouth shut, but it was only possible until Luke made one sarcastic crack too many. He had a lot of patience. But he also had a limit, and it had just been crossed.

"Have a good time at the party last night? Looks like a hell of a hangover."

Luke kinda shrugged it off. "Yeah, it was alright I guess." He turned to walk away.

"She's trying to do the right thing, you know. Trying to save face for both of you in public. If you're gonna go off and sleep with groupies, you might as well call it over and be done with it."

Luke's expression was seriously pissed. "The right thing, huh. Is that what you call it?"

Luke reached into his front shirt pocket, and then slammed his hand down on the table between the two of them, and Deacon realized when he moved it what he'd left behind. A silver button.

One damn button. He knew that button. He'd been impatiently unbuttoning a row of them one at a time awhile ago. And awhile ago meant Luke had been sitting on that for weeks. No wonder he'd been in such a snit.

"You can give that back to Rayna the next time you're done screwing her in a closet," Luke said without hesitation. "And then come back and judge me on how to deal with shit."

"Really. You could have a little more respect for her than that."

"How's this for respect," Luke said with a smirk. "You're fired. Get your crap out of my trucks and busses after tomorrow night's show and find your own way to get it home. I don't care how damn much it costs me as long as I don't see your face around this tour again."

He raised his eyebrows. "I thought this was all about business. You're really gonna be that petty?"

"Sure as hell am."

"That's the best news I've gotten in weeks."

Deacon couldn't remember later who pushed who first, but it quickly escalated from pushing and shoving to out and out rolling on the ground trying to beat the crap out of each other before a bunch of guys on the crew pulled them apart.

That night when they went onstage he had 3 stitches in his lip, and Luke had a hell of a black eye even stage makeup wouldn't cover.

After the show, the press crew asked way too many questions that both of them refused to answer.

The next day, Deacon saw on the morning news it was announced that up and coming new artist Jake Porter was signed on as an opener for the next leg of the Wheeler tour. He was out. And the speculation in the media was going crazy. There was a couple pictures of their mangled up faces, not to mention that damn picture of him coming out of Rayna's hotel reposted next to several pictures of Luke with two bimbos plastered against him.

_Oh for the Christ sake_, Deacon thought. _He doesn't waste any time. _

So much for saving face and not making a spectacle out of it. Rayna was going to be fit to be tied_. _

But at that moment he didn't give a damn about any of that.

One more show.

He couldn't wait to get home to his girls.

###############################

It was only a matter of hours before the news reports got back to Rayna.

She was in San Francisco, thrilled to have a day off to meet up with Tandy before her last show tomorrow and hear about her sister's new life.

"This is so nice," she said with a sigh as they sat next to each other in the nail salon soaking their feet. Manis and pedis were always the perfect stress reliever. "There is so much going on I have to tell you."

"I believe that," Tandy said wryly. "I can't even keep up with you, you're all over the place."

"I know," she grumbled. "I've spent more miles in the air in the last two months than I have in my entire life. And that's saying something."

"And how's Maddie? I talked to Daphne last week and she let it slip that she's been acting up."

"Better, I think," Rayna conceded. "It'll be real nice to be home at the end of the week, and then off til January. The girls and I really need some time together."

Tandy had her ipad in her hand, scrolling through the latest news, and her eyes got real huge. "Well, I guess you have some other things you haven't told me, huh?"

"What?" She asked. "Why?"

Her sister handed her the screen.

There was pictures of Luke and Deacon plastered all over it, looking like they'd both been in a boxing ring.

"What the hell," she muttered.

Tandy smirked. "I wonder who won."

She gave her sister a Look. "This is not funny."

"It's sort of funny, you have to admit," Tandy said with a snicker. "They're like two sixth grade boys fighting over the cute girl in class."

Rayna's smile faded a little as she scrolled farther down through the pictures.

There were a lot more pictures of Luke than Deacon. Looking more than a little cozy with one of his "fans." In the last picture all you could see was the back of his head swallowing her face. Ugh. It probably should have surprised her a lot more, but it didn't. She didn't even think she had the _right _to be mad, considering what she'd spent the last two months doing with Deacon. Literally.

She sighed. "He could at least have been a little more discreet about it."

Tandy leaned over and took a look. "What the hell?" She exclaimed. "What in god's name is that all about? Aren't the two of you still technically engaged?"

Rayna chewed her bottom lip. "I guess there's some other things I have to tell you," she conceded. "Like the fact that I keep trying to break up with him, and things keep getting in the way. And also Maddie….knows about me and Deacon," she winced. "Oh god, you don't even want to know how she found out."

"What? How?"

"She came to Deacon's unexpectedly and caught us in a rather….compromising position."

Tandy started to laugh. She laughed and laughed.

"It's not funny! It might have been the worst epic parenting fail of my life," Rayna grumbled.

"Well, it's sort of funny," her sister said with another chuckle. "It explains why she sounds so much happier when I call now. You two together, she's been lobbying for that since the day she found out Deacon was her dad."

Rayna couldn't keep the smile off her own face. "I think we're all going to be happier now. I just want to be home….with my girls, with him. Working on my label. Maybe another album. All these paparazzi and cameras taking the bullseye off my back. That life, it's for Luke but it's not for me. I thought I could get used to it, but I don't _want_ to get used to it. And a lot of it was just….being scared, you know that. That Deacon and I couldn't make it work. I'm still a little," she admitted.

"Well this explains why you aren't wearing your ring," Tandy said wryly. "You know nobody believed that crap this morning at the press conference that it was getting cleaned."

She sighed. "I was just trying to make it….not such a big deal, I guess. Bucky thought it would be better to wait awhile. I was supposed to see Luke last weekend in L.A. and that business with Maddie came up….this is such a mess. I keep trying to untangle it with him, and it's just getting worse."

"I'd say," Tandy agreed. "So what are you going to do?"

"I guess I'm getting back on a plane and going to Chicago to fix this," she said hesitantly. "That cuts our weekend short. I'm sorry."

"You really haven't seen Luke in two months?" Tandy asked. "That's rough. I mean….don't you wonder if it's just the distance? Maybe you'll see him and feel differently being with him again."

Rayna shook her head. "It's not just the distance. You know I…have loved Deacon for as long as I can remember. We wasted so many chances and waited so long. This is it, Tandy. This is our chance to get it right."

"Well," Tandy said, patting her hand. "You know I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you."

"And at least if you're going to break a man's heart, you'll do it with pretty feet."

####################################

The last show of the first half of the tour.

Deacon didn't miss how Luke made the fight that the media was blowing to extreme proportions a no big deal thing onstage that night, trying to act like they'd just been messing around and popped each other. He sealed the deal by calling Will and Deacon both back out onstage to do "It's on Tonight" for the last song, and made a big deal out of talking about the next round of tour dates starting up in January, and how they were going to "switch things up a bit".

Yeah, he got the message. They were supposed to act like they were all good buddies now. It was called "damage control."

Trouble was, when Deacon looked off the stage halfway through the song, he almost lost his place in the music when he realized Rayna was standing there with her arms crossed.

_What the hell?_ She was supposed to be in San Francisco with her sister.

And she did not look too happy.

Problem was, he wondered, which one of them was she here to see?

They came off the stage, handed off the guitars, and faced her. Both of them.

"Who lost the bet?" She said coolly.

He winced. Yeah she was definitely pissed. And avoiding his eyes. He couldn't decide if that was good or bad.

She turned to Luke. "Can we talk in private?"

"Sure thing, darlin. Why don't we go back to the hotel? The limo is waiting out back, you go on ahead and I'll be right there."

She rolled her eyes, and turned and stalked out.

"I guess that means it was you who lost that bet. Gotta go fix some things." Luke smirked at him, and slapped him on the back before he walked away.

Well, it sure meant something, Deacon thought, shaking his head. He headed off to pack up his equipment and see about getting it shipped out. Time to go home.

###################################################

The limo ride back to Luke's hotel was an awful 20 minutes of silence, them sitting 5 feet away from each other and not speaking while Luke sucked down a quarter of a bottle of Jack D.

Rayna had never seen him drink quite like that and it was a little disturbing. She had agreed it was better to talk where there would be no cameras, no reporters stalking out their every move.

But now as she faced Luke in his penthouse suite, it was nervewracking. He was sprawled out on the sofa, half in the bag, staring up at her with guarded eyes. Waiting for her to begin.

For a second, it brought back a million flashbacks of those years with Deacon, and she silently praised every angel in heaven that he had had the strength to straighten out his life. He had come a long ways from nights like this.

"I don't really know where to start," she said quietly.

"Well," he said loftily. "How about with admitting that you're engaged to me and getting busy with my opening act on the side. Guess that whole "delay the wedding" thing had ulterior motives, huh?"

She closed her eyes and tried to find some semblance of having patience. "You know I didn't intend for any of this to happen."

He laughed harshly. "Rayna, this has always been "on the verge of happening". For years. Everyone in the industry talked behind your back about how you never could let go of him. I didn't understand why until I found out about Maddie, and I thought I could win you over anyway. I thought…I don't know… money and fame and all that would mean something. Success would mean something to you."

"I tried to explain it to you," she said. "There's this thing between me and Deacon, it just pulls us back together Luke. It always has. And it's not just Maddie. It's more than that. That's not fair to you. I don't want to make you another Teddy, and that's exactly what I was doing." She slid the ring off her finger and pressed it into his hand. "I am so sorry that it turned out like this, but it's time for both of us to be honest with each other. I don't want the life that you have, and I don't want it for my girls either."

He stopped looking angry and drunk and just looked…tired. Sad.

"Did you ever love me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "We were good together. We had a lot of good times and I will cherish that. "

"So you're gonna go off and marry him."

Rayna shook her head slowly. "I'm not doing anything right now except spending some time going back to figuring out who I really am. But yes, he will be…a part of that. He's a part of me, Luke. I can't deny that anymore. I tried to for a long time, but it's always been there."

Luke just shook his head and took another swig of his beer. "Can you leave, please. I'm gonna need to call in my PR team for damage control. And probably more booze. This is going to require a lot more booze."

His team. Like it was some kind of…business transaction that had gone wrong.

It left a bitter taste in her mouth.

She didn't want it ending like this.

"Luke-."

"Just go, dammit!"

"Alright," she said with quiet dignity. "But I want you to know I wish nothing but the best for you, Luke." And she turned and walked towards the door with her chin held high.

Just before she closed it behind her, she heard the two words that settled her heart just a little.

"You too."

###############################################

Deacon was 30,000 feet in the air when his text message alert went off.

It was a picture of her hand. Without that ring on it.

_You okay? _

_ I'm great, _she replied. _Sorry I couldn't stay_.

_Its okay._ He texted back. _So what now?_

_ See you at home in a week_. _That has a nice ring to it huh. _

He couldn't keep the smile off his face as he typed in a response.

_ Sure as hell does. _

_._


	9. Chapter 9

** So in lieu of all the spoilers coming out….I just want to make a note that I do NOT plan write any of the spoilers about a certain character's illness into this story. I think it will be painful enough to watch, I'd rather get to the happy stuff **

**Two weeks later…. **

"I'm so happy to be home with my girls," Rayna said, giving Daphne a squeeze. They were wearing pajamas, snuggled up in a pile of blankets and popcorn bowls in her bed having a long-overdue movie night. She'd arrived back in town the day before, and it had been a whirlwind of chaos, checking in at the office and getting back into the swing of things at home. Earlier that day she'd reluctantly agreed to do a press conference with Luke and both of their publicity teams where they both stated the obvious: that they'd "grown apart" and there would be no wedding. They had also stated that they'd answer no more questions regarding the situation, but the speculation was at its most ridiculous point ever now.

Luke didn't say much to her directly. It stung a little, standing there next to him and feeling that cold distance, she couldn't lie. But it was more her pride than her heart, and she knew that.

Her heart was in a different place completely. Here at home with her girls, and wishing Deacon was here with them. She hadn't seen him since Chicago, but the sweet phone conversations they had every day gave her so much hope for the future they had both wanted for so long. Things were definitely looking up.

"Me too," Daphne said, her face lighting up.

"Me three," Maddie tilted her head and looked at her mom. "You look happy, Mom. I'm so glad you're home for awhile. And Dad too. I can't wait to see him."

"It's always better when we're all together," Daphne said with a contented sigh, reaching for another handful of popcorn.

"Well, you know," Rayna said with a big smile. "You girls are the most important thing in my life. I know the last few months have been pretty hard, but things are going to get better now, and you know I won't be going back on tour for awhile. So…." she said, "I thought it would be real nice to have a traditional thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with all the trimmings. Just us."

Daphne's face got even more enthusiastic. "That would be so fun, Mom, can we make the table all fancy and stuff?"

"Of course we can." Rayna said, affectionately ruffling her hair. "Daphne, you are officially in charge of the table. "

"Does that mean Luke and his kids aren't going to be here?" Daphne frowned a little. "I mean you guys broke up, right? Isn't that what you said? And that's what they said on the news today when we were at Dad's."

"Well," Rayna said carefully, catching Maddie's eye over her sister's head. Maddie knew, of course, about her and Deacon. They had discussed the reasons for keeping it private for a little while. No need to start another media firestorm when she was still dealing with the fall-out from her breakup with Luke, and she was desperate this time around to keep Deacon and the girls out of it. "I told you awhile ago that Luke and I were taking a break from each other, but we have decided not to be dating anymore. For good. So we won't be getting married."

Daphne looked immensely relieved. Maddie looked like she wanted to bust with knowing the secret, her smile was so huge.

"So that means," Rayna said cautiously, "I was thinking maybe we'd invite Deacon over to have Thanksgiving with us tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

Daphne looked confused. "So does that mean he's just coming because he's Maddie's dad? Or is he like….your boyfriend now? Instead of Luke?"

"Um….well….would that be okay with you if he was?"

Maddie couldn't take it anymore. "Really, Mom, you might as well just tell her. I can't stand the suspense any longer."

Rayna got a little smile on her face. "I guess it does," she admitted. "Is that okay with you? Both of you? Because I really, really want you to be honest and tell me if it's okay."

"Well, you already know what I think," Maddie rolled her eyes. "Just don't get all touchy-feely in front of us and I think it's great. I have seen enough of that to last me the rest of my life. Literally."

"Mom," Daphne said with a happy sigh. "That is the best news I've heard all day. This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever."

######################################

**16 hours later… **

When Deacon walked into Rayna's house the next afternoon, Daphne and Maddie were sprawled out on the couch in the living room, plugged into their electronics and earphones, looked bored as all get-out.

He pulled out Maddie's earphones, and she looked up from the book she was reading on her ipad. "Hey, where's your mom?"

"Ugh," Maddie sat up and pointed to the kitchen. "She has been in there all day. Don't go anywhere near that doorway if your life depends on it."

"We're starving," Daphne added grumpily. "It's been _hours_. And it smells like she's burning something in there."

He walked towards the kitchen, dying of curiousity. "Ray? How's it going?" he called.

"It's fine," she yelled in a muffled voice. "Don't come in!"

"Maybe I can help."

"No!" Rayna commanded, blocking the doorway and stopping him before he got any farther. "I told you I wanted to do all myself. Go back to the girls. Please."

He grinned. "Why don't you let me help you," he said. "I've been cooking thanksgiving for me and Scarlett for years."

"Nope," she said, kissing his cheek. "Out. It's almost done."

With a sigh, he shook his head and went back to the living room. He picked up a guitar from the corner and started to play a tune. Maddie started humming along and pretty soon Daphne joined in.

Not fifteen minutes later he heard an awful crash in the kitchen, and the most raucous string of southern profanities he had ever heard come out of the pretty mouth of Rayna Wyatt Jaymes in 26 years.

He stopped playing and exchanged a glance with the girls.

Daphne's eyes were huge.

"Alright," he said firmly. "That's it. I'm going in."

"Good luck," Maddie said dryly. "She's gonna be mad at you."

Rayna didn't hear him coming this time.

He stood in the doorway, rather awestruck at the disaster that had been created.

The kitchen looked like it had been attacked by hungry pillagers. Bowls and ingredients and dishes everywhere, pots on the stove, pie crust rolled out on the countertop.

Rayna was standing by the oven covered in flour, including her hair, hot mitts on both her hands, and her stubborn chin high in the air. "It's not as bad as it looks. Really."

He didn't think it was an appropriate time to tell her that she looked downright cute in that red apron.

The most alarming thing really, was that the turkey was now on the floor in _front_ of the oven. At least he thought it was the turkey. It was the color of coal. A broken platter was in pieces all around it.

Deacon couldn't help it. He started to laugh. And then he couldn't stop.

God, he loved this woman.

And Rayna Jaymes _was_ a hell of a woman that was for sure, but all the CMAS in the world couldn't account for her lack of cooking skills. Julia Child she was not. He had known this for years, no matter how much she tried to deny it.

The distressed look in her eyes, the wobble of her bottom lip, and the tears she was trying to force back curbed his humor a bit.

"Oh come on now," he pulled her against his shoulder. "It's kind of funny, ain't it? I know you tried real hard sweetheart, but I think it's time to throw in the towel."

"It's not okay," she sniffled. "I wanted everything to be perfect."

"We're here, and the girls are here," he said, his eyes crinkling into a smile as he took her face in his hands. "That's perfect enough for me. I don't care if we eat frozen turkey dinners. We've done it before, you remember?"

He was teasing her.

But there was no way she'd ever forget that first thanksgiving all those years ago, when she'd begged and pleaded with him to go to Lamar's for dinner with her. After an hour of listening to Lamar snidely berate his 19 year old daughter to the point where she was nearly in tears, Deacon had calmly stood up, taken her by the hand, and led her out of the house without another word. They'd spent their first thanksgiving together eating Hungry-Man meals in front of the tv in his tiny apartment.

Her eyes danced at the memory. "I think that was the best thanksgiving I ever had."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes," she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. "Until now."

"We're together and that's all that really matters," he said softly.

"Really? Because I don't think we're going to be eating turkey," she sighed, gesturing towards the mess.

"Really. Go on upstairs and get cleaned up," Deacon said, kissing the end of her nose. "I'll take care of this, okay?"

She reluctantly untied her apron and dropped it on the counter, but wavered in leaving.

"Go on," he insisted. "I got this." Then he called the girls from the other room.

#######################

Rayna came back downstairs an hour later and the kitchen was once again spotless and in order, and the dishes in the dishwasher. Daphne and Maddie had fancied up the table with the good china and silver, just like Daphne wanted. The damn dreaded turkey was nowhere in sight, but a collection of Chinese delivery boxes waiting on the countertop.

She walked into the living room, and he was there with the girls, playing a new song she knew him and Maddie had been working on before he left for the tour.

She leaned in the doorway and enjoyed watching them for a few minutes, a smile on her face that went all the way to her heart.

Once she had dreamed it would be like this. Every day and night for the rest of their lives.

For the first time in forever it didn't seem so far off at all.

"Hey," Deacon put down his guitar and stood up. "See, all good. Kitchen's back in order. Now let's eat."

She frowned. "Deacon, I really don't think we can eat Chinese food for thanksgiving. That's almost sacrilegious."

"Ray," he said with a serious face. "There was no saving that poor turkey. And we have some hungry girls here."

"Yeah, Mom." Daphne said cheerfully. "Boy, I never saw a turkey so burned!"

Maddie poked her. "Stop it, you'll make her feel bad. We know you tried, Mom," she said apologetically.

"Alright," Rayna sighed. "Chinese food it is."

She'd never imagined their first Thanksgiving all together would be sitting around eating takeout food off fancy plates, but as she sat listening to the girls happy chatter as they unloaded the cartons, she couldn't help but laugh a little.

"What's funny?" Deacon said with a smile.

"I wanted it to be perfect," she said simply.

"Darlin," he said with completely seriousness. "This is _our _perfect. It couldn't get much better than this."

"I think you're right. Maddie, would you like to say grace?"

"Sure, Mom."

Rayna reached for Maddie's hand on one side and Deacon's on the other.

She saw the exact moment he noticed the ring she'd slipped onto her left hand when she was upstairs earlier. She hadn't really been meaning to leave it on at first. It was so early with everything between them yet, but when she was dressing after her shower, her thoughts wandered to it's safe place in her jewelry box, and she sat down at the vanity and slipped it on her finger, thinking about the night she'd picked Luke's ring over that one. She had stared at it for quite awhile. It looked good there. And it felt right. So it stayed.

Deacon's eyes met hers, and the surprise in his face was evident. But there was a lot more there too. Happiness. A peace of mind she hadn't seen on him in a long, long time. She was sure that her face couldn't have looked much different. And then they were having one of those silent conversations again….

_I couldn't love you more if I tried_.

_ You don't have to. This is just enough. _

The girls saw their sappy exchange too, and glanced at each other across the table.

"Ahem," Maddie said, and Daphne giggled. Maddie began, "Thank you god for this…amazing food even though it's made by someone else- sorry Mom- and thank you for letting us all be together again. Amen."

"Amen," the rest of them echoed.

Rayna listened as the girls listed all the things they were thankful for. Such sweet, amazing girls she had, and this man she had loved for so long and she knew she would love for the rest of her life. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve being so lucky in all parts of her life, but she was thankful every single day, not just this one.

"Well, I'm thankful that I get to be here with all of you," Deacon said, squeezing her hand across the table again. "There's nothing better than that. I couldn't ask for anything more."

"It's like we're finally a family," Maddie added, cautiously shooting a glance from one of her parents to another. They didn't say anything, just started giving each other that "look" again. Gross. That part she was still getting used to.

Rayna silently agreed as she met his eyes once more.

_Deacon's right, _she thought_. It can't get much better than everything leading to this. _

You couldn't get much better than perfect.

And this was theirs_. _

.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey sleepyhead," Deacon sat at the edge of the bedwith coffee in one hand and toast on a plate in the other. "You should get up. The girls are gonna be here in an hour."

"I can't move," Rayna mumbled, her face muffled by the pillow.

"That was some Christmas party you threw last night, that's for sure," he said with a smirk as he set the cup and plate on the nightstand nearby.

She rolled over, feeling like death warmed twice over, and peered up at him. "Why the hell did you let me drink all that champagne."

"I think you can blame that one on Sadie," he said, his eyes laughing at her. "She's the one who got you dancing on the bar."

Rayna's face went pale. "I did not."

"Yeah, darlin. You sure did. You were having so much fun, I didn't want to ruin it."

"Video?"

"I'm sure it exists somewhere. The sight of the two of you singing "Santa Baby" was too good for anyone to resist."

"Oh my god," she sat up too fast, and her head swam. "Next year," she said, wincing. "We're having the party in a church."

Deacon laughed and leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll start the shower. Eat your toast."

She pulled him in by the lapels of his denim shirt and kissed him hard on the mouth. "You take such good care of me."

His blue eyes were solemn. "You took care of me for a lot of years, Rayna. You deserve it."

Rayna pulled him backwards on the bed with her, and they just laid there in silence for awhile, all tangled up in each other's arms.

"Girls, remember? Shower?" he reminded, a hint of humor in his voice.

"Okay," she closed her eyes again. "In a sec."

Neither of them had moved ten minutes later.

It was hard these day for Rayna to tear herself away from this man's arms.

The last few week had been just heaven. Getting ready for Christmas coming in a few weeks, being at home in her H65 office making plans for the new year ahead. Being with him, and finally being off tour and home with the girls. It was a lot of craziness, and a little adjustment on all their parts. But it was good.

She had never felt as content, and as whole as she did now. And loved. She felt so loved.

** "**Sometimes I think this is all too perfect," she said softly.

"Not possible," he murmured.

"You know….," she sighed. "What if you hit the top of the mountain and there's nowhere else to go. What if you fall? What if this is too good…."

"It's not," Deacon said without hesitation. "You don't fall. You just find a bigger mountain and keep going higher. The clouds, remember? We're shooting for the clouds."

She leaned over and kissed him again, and laid her head against his chest, "You know, I think we could put that in a song. It's probably about time for another number one from us soon."

"Darlin, our whole life is a damn song," he said, his eyes only half-teasing. "I've been singing 'em for years."

"I've got a song for you." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "It's something about a guy getting into my bed with his boots on."

His laugh, his smile just melted her every time. She'd seen Deacon Claybourne in a hell of a lot of states of his life, but happy was by far her favorite.

"We're down to 45 minutes on those girls, Ray."

"I guess we better hurry up then."

But both of their phones on the nightstand starting ringing at the same time.

"Ugh, Rayna grumbled. "Can we just ignore them?"

"Not when you're a big important label head, and not when I am currently without a tour," he said, handing hers over, and reluctantly climbing off the bed and going into the other room to take his own call.

When he came back a few minutes later, he heard Rayna vehemently saying "No way. I am not going and spilling my guts on some primetime news show. I'd rather keep my family out of the press, thank you. And it's Sunday. I'm not talking about work today. I'll see you at the office tomorrow, Buck."

She tossed the phone among the blankets, looking annoyed, and glanced over at Deacon.

"What was your call about?" She asked. "Better than mine, I hope."

"Uh, yeah," Deacon said slowly. "I guess….There's been a cancellation and they want me to play the Opry next Saturday night."

"That's amazing, Babe," she said with a smile. "You've played there lots of times. So…why do you look like surprised that they asked?"

"Yeah, I've played with you, or with the house band," he said, looking a little stunned. "I've never been asked to be the headliner."

'I'm so proud of you," she took his hand and pulled him down for a hug. "You know the girls and I will be there."

"Thanks, darlin," he was still trying to shake off the surprise. "What was your call about?"

She scowled. "The producers of News 360* want me to be a part of some….hour long prime time special about country music stars."

"Well hey, that's kind of a big deal too, right."

"It would be," she said with a sigh. "But I've had enough of my personal life in the public eye lately to last 20 years." The media from the breakup with Luke had reached a head and was finally dying down, but the big "why?" question was still popping up. Nobody was buying their lame grew-apart story. Especially since Luke had apparently already hit the celebrity dating trail hard.

"Is that what they're asking?" Deacon asked neutrally. "About us?"

"I'm not sure," Rayna admitted. "But I did them about 10 years ago and I'm guessing it's some kind of update show. There's a few other artists on it too, I think maybe only like 10 minutes on my part. I'm sure it'll be mostly questions about what happened with Luke."

"I see," he got real quiet. "Maybe it would be a good thing to set the record straight and end all the talk."

"Maybe," she murmured. "I'll think about it, I guess."

But now he looked more bothered about it than she did, tracing the ring on her hand with his thumb. They hadn't made any plans yet. She was cautious, and he didn't want to push her. He was mostly happy just figuring it all out together.

"What's up, Babe?"

Deacon shook his head slowly. "I don't want cameras following us all over either, but…It's been a few months now. I wanna be able to walk down the street and hold your hand. Or put my arm around you, or take you out to dinner and not worry about whose watching. And besides, I think not saying anything is just leading to more speculation."

"You're probably right," she admitted.

"Not to mention," he added. "After that party last night, I'm pretty sure the cat is out of the bag anyway. You got me under the mistletoe about five times. And besides I want you to wear that ring every day and not have to worry about taking it off when the press is around."

Rayna smiled, and squeezed his hand. "I want that to, I'm just…I don't want to start that whole cycle all over, you know? The girls lives are finally getting back to normal, there's finally not people hanging out of the trees in my front yard with cameras…."

He sighed. "I know. I just don't like feeling like we're some big dirty little secret."

"That's not what we are," she said softly. "You know that."

But she could tell what he was thinking.

The last time they'd been together, before the accident, it had been a secret. They hadn't lasted long enough to make it public. To this day, really the only people who knew they'd ever been back together two years ago were Bucky and Coleman.

"Hey," she said firmly. "We're not. You know that, right? Say you know that, Deacon."

"I know that," he conceded. "I know it's different this time."

She looked relieved. "Well, good. We'll figure out out. A good….moment or something."

But his eyes were still a little bit guarded. "Anyway, I got something I wanted to do today. With you and the girls. You up for it?" he said tentatively. "Like a….family thing."

"That sounds real nice," Rayna said with a smile. "What are we doing?"

"Oh you'll see. You're gonna love it, Ray. I can't wait."

#############################################

A few hours later, Rayna sat in the passenger seat of Deacon's truck, mystified, still having no idea what they were up to.

The girls were in the backseat, leaning against each other bundled up in thick parkas, gloves, and hats like they'd been instructed.

"Dad, I'm sweating bullets with all this stuff on," Maddie complained. "Are we almost there?"

"Where are we going anyway? Daphne asked. "To the cabin?"

"Nope," he said confidently. "Here we are."

Rayna looked at him like he'd gone crazy. "We're in the middle of nowhere, Deacon. Did I miss something? Are we lost?"

"Are we building an igloo?" Daphne asked happily. "Oh, I always wanted to do that!"

Rayna hid a smile. She could not lie, Daphne's excitement for everything was the sweetest thing ever. "Um…..Deacon? Are we building an igloo? Going for a…cold stroll in the woods? What exactly is happening here?"

"Rayna," he said impatiently. "Do you always gotta know everything before it happens?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "As a matter of fact, I do."

He leaned over and smacked a kiss on her mouth. "Live a little, Babe. And don't worry. We can huddle together for warmth."

"Stop," Maddie yelled from the backseat. "If you guys are gonna do that all afternoon, I'm staying in the truck."

"Well I think it's cute," Daphne said indignantly. "It just means they love each other, Maddie. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Of course," Maddie said. "But that's what rooms with closed doors are for. _With locks_."

Rayna rolled her eyes, and shot Deacon a laughing look. That poor daughter of theirs was going to hold that incident over their heads for the rest of her life.

He grinned.

Maddie still did not look impressed as they all piled out of his truck at the end of a snow covered service road.

"Seriously Deacon, what are we doing here? Isn't this trespassing?"

"We're chopping down a Christmas tree." He said without hesitation as he grabbed the axe out of the back of the truck. "And no it's not trespassing. It's Juliette's land. She said she doesn't care if we want to chop down 20 trees. And I happened to know there's a perfect bunch of pine trees not too far off this road."

Maddie's mouth dropped open. "Are you kidding? Is that safe? You're not gonna make Mom do it, are you? She'd probably take her own foot off."

Rayna shot her daughter a look. "Excuse me?"

Daphne's face was instant glee, jumping up and down clapping. "Oh, this is even better than building an igloo!" The other two, not so much enthusiasm.

Rayna bit her bottom lip and hid a smile. "Uh….I mean this is great, but isn't this what the big lot in front of the Kroger is for?"

Deacon gave her a completely disgusted look. "Rayna. We are not buying an overpriced dried out tree from some guy in a parking lot. Now come on, let's go."

20 minutes later, as they were slogging through a foot of snow to find the perfect tree. Daphne was excited as Rayna had ever seen her, running ahead to point out deer and birds, and every tree she thought was "theirs."

Rayna, personally, was trying to be optimistic even though she was half frozen. She kicked herself for being such a diva and choosing the "pretty" boots over the sensible, up to her knees, super weather resistant ones Deacon had suggested. She burrowed her face farther into her coat and the scarf around her neck, and tucked her gloves hands into her pockets. The fact that she still had a champagne headache lingering didn't help much either.

Up ahead Daphne was yelling. "Mom, we found it! This is the perfect one!"

She ran back to her mom and sister and pointed to the tree. "Deacon says it's the right size, not too big and not too small. What do you think?"

"It looks great," Rayna agreed. "I think you picked the best one in the whole forest."

"Mom, I love him," Maddie said with utter seriousness, next to her. "But this is nuts. I can't feel my toes. Can't we just go back to the truck and let those two do it since they're so gung-ho about it."

"No," Rayna said firmly. "He really wants to do this with us, Maddie. Let's try to have fun, okay?"

Maddie continued to grumble. "This is like something out of a bad 80s christmas movie. I don't know why I can't just have a normal family."

Deacon was standing next to that tree waiting for their approval, and he looked so damn happy, it almost brought tears to Rayna's eyes as the reality of how important this was to him hit home. She turned to her attitude-laden teenage daughter.

"Do you see that smile on your dad's face?" she said somberly.

Maddie instantly looked guilty.

"Deacon never got to do this, Maddie. With you. With us. With anyone."

"Well, I'm sure when he was a kid-."

"No," Rayna said quietly. "He didn't."

Maddie's scowl faded as she watched her dad messing around with Daphne, throwing snowballs at each other. She didn't know anything about what his life had been like when he was a kid, because he didn't like to talk about it, and her mom didn't think she was old enough to know. But she knew it hadn't been too good.

"Now I know you're cold, and I know this whole thing is just….well, it's a little crazy," Rayna admitted with a smile. "But it means a lot to him. More than you know."

"I'm sorry, Mom." Maddie said with utmost sincerity. "I'll stop complaining."

"Thank you."

Rayna watched with a full heart as Maddie scooped up a handful of snow and ran ahead to aim it in her sister's direction.

"Hey, come and play in the snow with us, Mom!" Daphne yelled, flopping down on her back and making a snow angel.

"No, no, I'm good right here," Rayna said with a smile, holding up her cell phone to take pictures. "I'd rather just watch you guys."

Deacon picked up a snowball.

"Come on, Rayna, put that damn phone away."

"I'm just taking a few pics," she protested.

"You are not. You're looking at your messages. Not allowed. How the hell do you even get reception out here?"

"Mom," Daphne giggled. "You better listen, he's gonna get you."

Maddie was also stifling a giggle.

"Just a sec," Rayna said, looking down at her phone. "I just have to-."

An instant later she felt a snowball splatter against her back.

Slowly she turned, zipped the phone back in her pocket, and faced them, her hands on her hips.

"He did it!" The girls pointed.

He raised his eyebrows. "Traitors."

"Oh, you're in for it now," Rayna said firmly. "Girls against boys!"

"Hey that's not fair, there's only one boy!"

"I know. Get him, ladies!"

They called it a truce after all three of them tackled him and dumped handfuls of icy snow down his neck.

Later on, after the snowball throwing was over, after they'd chopped down the tree and dragged it out of the woods, after they were on the way home with the girls passed out asleep in the backseat, the sun going down behind them, on the road home again, Rayna sat in the passenger seat and just watched him. Thinking.

He reached over and squeezed her hand. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"It was a good day," she said, squeezing his hand back. "Something the girls will always remember."

"It was, wasn't it?" He said, unable to keep the grin off his face he'd pretty much been wearing all day. This was what he'd always wanted. This was what family was supposed to be about. "Is that it? All you're thinking about?"

"I love you, that's all," she said simply.

"Love you too, Ray. But you've know that for a long time."

She was thinking that once he'd said to her in the middle of one of those darker times, _I don't do happy. Me and happy just don't get along much at all. _

He'd been so wrong, she thought now, watching him with that smile, that light in his eyes that never seemed to go away lately.

Deacon Claybourne did happy pretty damn well after all.


	11. Chapter 11

"Mom, do we really have to do this," Maddie grumbled as they walked across the parking lot towards the girls' private school. Around them, other parents and kids were doing the same thing.

"Yes," Rayna said firmly. "It's parent-teacher night and that is important. Don't you want us to meet your teachers and your friends?"

The last few weeks had definitely been an adjustment. Daphne, as much as she loved Deacon, was damn determined to make up for the loss of her mom's attention while they were on tour. Maddie wasn't used to having him in the role of "not always cool dad", and she definitely had been pushing boundaries. It was a two steps forward one step back process, but they were getting it…..sort of. At least she thought they were.

"Yes!" Daphne cheered.

"Not if it's going to be on the front page of the paper tomorrow," Maddie said pointedly.

"Come on, now," Deacon said good-naturedly. "It won't be that bad. You gotta show me how this whole parent-night thing works. This is my first one."

"And besides," Rayna added. "The photographers have let up a lot on us, let's not jinx ourselves. There probably won't even be any there."

Maddie sighed, and dragged her feet even more the closer they got to school and stood outside.

"Dad said he'll be here in 15 minutes," Daphne said, looking down at her phone.

"Okay, we'll just wait…." Rayna's voice trailed off as she noticed them. There were two. Two men with large cameras standing by the front door of the school. She assumed they weren't here on official PTA business. _Damn. Can't they just give it a rest?_ "Um…why don't we go inside and wait for Teddy," she said quickly. "Instead of standing out here in the cold."

Deacon saw the photographers too, and he saw Rayna automatically go to the other side of Daphne. It might have looked like she was just putting herself between the photographers and the girls, but he saw what it really was. She positioned herself so they weren't walking in next to each other as the flashbulbs went off.

He watched with a heavy sigh as she slid off her ring and slipped it into her purse.

She saw him watching. _I'm sorry_, her eyes said.

He just shook it off, and looked the other way, determined not to let it ruin the night. But he wondered if this would ever end.

################################

Deacon kept up a good show in front of the girls, letting Daphne enthusiastically drag him around the school, and Maddie reluctantly introduce her friends to them, shooting Rayna an amused look when they overheard one of the girls saying "your parents are so cool. My dad is a dentist. So lame." But she could tell he was bothered by the earlier situation with the photographers.

After take-out pizza and bidding the girls goodnight as they went up to their bedrooms, Rayna sank onto the sofa, tired and happy, but was surprised to see him putting on his jacket. "Where you going?"

"I think I'm gonna go on back to my house for the night," he said quietly.

They'd fallen into the routine of staying at her house when she had the girls, and staying at his house when the girls were with Teddy.

"Okay." She said, troubled. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just….need a little time to think, that's all. You know….quiet and all. Maybe do a little writing. It's been so crazy the last couple weeks I haven't had much time. Should run through a few things for the Opry show tomorrow anyway."

"You sure that's all?" She stood up and walked over to him, and took his hand in hers.

"Yep." He said, avoiding her eyes. After a second, he pulled his hand back.

Clearly that was _not_ all.

Rayna sighed. "Is this about them taking pictures of us earlier?"

"I don't think you have much to worry about," he said, unable to hide a little bit of resentment in his voice. "Because you were about five feet away from me the whole time we were in that school. Pretty sure Teddy had more to say to me than you did. At least while people were watching."

Rayna frowned. "Don't be like that. I told you. I'm just trying to protect all of us, Deacon. I didn't do a very good job of that last time."

Deacon ran his finger through his hair and paced the length of the kitchen. "Let's be honest," he said. "You're trying to protect yourself, Ray. Are you worried about another scandal, is that it? Cuz this isn't the same thing. I'm not some big hat cowboy with my face on the barbecue sauce bottle. I don't want to waltz you all over the newspapers. It would be nice to be able to put my arm around you in public. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing," she said insisted. "Absolutely nothing is wrong with that."

"Then why are you acting like it's 15 years ago and I'm still nothing but the guy with the guitar standing behind you?"

Her eyes flashed and her voice rose. "You really wanna do this right now? Pick a fight with me over two photographers?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "You're the one whose so damn determined that nobody finds out, Rayna. I just want to know why. It's been weeks. There is no more Luke scandal, and you're still makin excuses."

"I told you, that's not it at all!" They were full blown yelling at each other now.

She hated it. It wasn't like the two of them hadn't had a large number of heated arguments over the years over different issues, but two opinionated people who had a tendency to spout off in the heat of the moment did not make for easy resolution.

"Well then what is it?" Deacon said. "Just gonna keep being our little secret like two years ago? Just in case it doesn't work out?"

She stood there staring at him, at a loss for words.

And it took a hell of a lot to get Rayna at a loss for words.

He knew he'd hit the nail on the head, at least partially.

"Listen," he said tiredly. "I'm trying to be understanding, but its getting old, Rayna. In a hurry." With a shake of his head, looking pretty disgusted, he stalked out of her kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

##########################################

When Rayna went upstairs to say goodnight to the girls a little while later, she was surprised to see Daphne asleep on Maddie's bed, and Maddie's face streaked with tears.

"What in the world?" She asked softly, sitting down next to her on the bed. "What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"We heard you and Deacon arguing in the kitchen," Maddie said quietly. "Are you gonna break up again?"

That nearly broke Rayna's heart, thinking of the two of them sitting up here worrying. "Oh honey," she said, reaching over to brush her hair off her face. "That was just a little…argument. It happens sometimes, you know? We're both still figuring this out, Maddie. It's not always going to be perfect, but we're trying real hard. I'm sure we'll talk it over tomorrow and everything will be fine."

"Then why did Deacon go back to his house? I mean, he's been staying here with us…."

"He just needed a night of peace and quiet, I think," Rayna said gently. "He's not used to dealing with three powerful women so many hours a day."

Maddie's face cracked a half smile.

"What were you arguing about? It wasn't Luke, was it?"

"Well…no," she said. "But it's complicated…."

"I know," Maddie rolled her eyes. "A grown up issue."

"You know what," Rayna said with a sigh. "I guess I've been trying so hard to keep our lives private that I did too good of a job."

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"It's nothing," Rayna said, patting her knee. "Don't you worry about it, okay? I'll fix it somehow."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she swore to her daughter.

"You better," Daphne murmured sleepily from her place next to Maddie on the bed, raising her head. "I like Deacon better when he's not sad."

"Me too," she said with a smile. "You know what I bet would make him real happy?"

She reached for her phone on the nightstand. "Let's send him a goodnight picture of his favorite girls."

############################

"Isn't this fun?" Rayna said, as she and the girls took their places in the front row on Saturday night for Deacon's show.

She hadn't seen him since their argument last night, just giving him time to cool off, but it was weighing heavily on her mind. _How the hell do I get us past this?_ Then she'd get mad at him all over again five minutes later. _Why do men have to be such stubborn idiots? _

Maddie was completely starry-eyed, just as she was every time they came to the Opry. "This is so exciting, Mom. I can't wait to play on that stage soon."

The way she said "soon", and not "some day", would strike fear in the heart of any mother trying to protect her kids from the industry.

"Some day," Rayna corrected with a small smile. "You have a lot of growing up to do first."

She'd barely been two years older than Maddie when she met Deacon, and the first time she'd played the Opry a few years later, it had been with him behind her on the stage. Funny how time got away from you when you weren't looking. In some ways it seemed like just yesterday that she'd been standing in the wings pacing anxiously to make her debut. Not even old enough to legally drink and standing on the edge of the best stage in the world.

In the back of her mind it was still clear as day.

"_Stop playing with your hair_," _Deacon said impatiently, not even looking up from where he was sitting on a stool finishing up the tuning on his guitar. _ "_It looks fine." _

_ "Easy for you to say," she retorted. "You're a guy. All you have to do is throw on a flannel shirt and run a hand through your hair and everyone thinks it's the It look." _

_ He stopped tuning and looked up at her, amused. Stood up, put the guitar down, and took a few steps towards her. Took her face in his hands and kissed her. "Stop. Worrying." He said. "As soon as you start singin, nobody's gonna care what your hair or your clothes look like. Trust me." _

_ His words could always melt her to mush, and calm her butterflies. "You shouldn't kiss me here," she said worriedly. "People might see." _

_ Nobody knew about the thing they had going on. Well, they weren't _supposed _to know. She didn't even know what it was, this "thing" of theirs that had been going on for months now. . All she knew was nobody else had ever made her feel like he did. _

_ He was unperturbed by her worries. "Who cares. One day I'm gonna stand on that stage and kiss you in front of the whole world, Ray." _

_ She laughed. "Oh and why would you wanna do that? You want everyone to know I'm off limits?" _

_ "Nope," his eyes crinkled into a smile. "Just be tellin em I love you. In case they didn't already know." _

_ Well, if she hadn't been quite sure she loved Deacon Claybourne before, she sure as hell was sure of it now. _

"When does Deacon come on?" Daphne asked impatiently, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to the present. "And why does your face look all funny like that?"

"Well, you know how it goes," she said patiently, unable to hide her smile. "He's the last one tonight."

"That's cuz he's the most important, right?"

"Yes he is."

As the other artists before him took the stage, as she realized she knew exactly how to fix everything.

Halfway through the list of performers, Maddie realized her mom's seat was empty.

################################

Rayna left the girls in the front row to watch from the side of the stage as they introduced Deacon. She could never have felt a more prouder moment. He had come so far and worked so hard. He deserved to stand in that circle just as much as anyone, and as him being front and center. Not being anyone's backup.

She thought again about his words from the night before. And from all those years ago. How many times had she stood on this stage with him behind her. He always had her back, even all those years she was married to Teddy.

Now it was her turn to have his.

When Deacon took five before his last song to address the audience, she turned to the man running the soundboard. "Can you get me a mic?"

"Sure thing, Ms. Jaymes."

When she walked out on the stage, the crowd went wild.

Deacon turned and saw her walking towards him, and his eyes lit up.

"What are you doing?" He said, for their ears only.

She was wearing a little smile, and her eyes were shining. "Telling the world that I love you." She said, for their ears only. "But I think they already knew that." Then she kissed him, on that stage, in that circle, in front of the Opry. In front of the world.

He looked stunned. Happy. Kinda like he was trying not to shed a tear.

The crowd went absolutely crazy. Every single person in the place was on their feet for a standing ovation.

Rayna could see it was taking a second for him to get his bearings back.

"I was thinking it might be fun to end the night with a surprise duet," she suggested to the crowd, and they cheered again. "Deacon, what do you think?"

His eyes were mischevious. "Well, darlin, what did you have in mind?  
>"Oh I don't know, something old and borrowed?" She said coyly.<p>

He looked at the crowd. "Next thing you know she's gonna want to add something

new and something blue."

Cheers erupted, and Rayna's laughter rang out.

"Well, what do you think?" She said. "It's been awhile since we sang together, think we still remember how?"

"Oh, I think we can figure it out, huh?"

They conversed with the band for a few minutes, and then the two of them launched into "Postcard from Mexico" to the absolute delight of the excited crowd.

It was the first time they'd been onstage singing together in two years.

And yet it felt to Rayna like not even a day had passed.

_This is where I'm supposed to be_, she thought as he slipped his hand into hers and they took a bow together. _With him next to me, not behind me._ _This really is our life that's good. _

########################################

After the hubbub of the show had died down and they were alone in Deacon's dressing room, Rayna could finally breathe a little easier that things really were fine.

"That was great," Deacon kept saying. "That was just amazing, Ray."

"_You_ were amazing," she said. "And I hope that little surprise didn't steal any of your glory, but I thought it was the perfect way to tell the world we're together."

"It was," he sank down onto the sofa and pulled her onto his lap. "Perfect. Amazing. Everything, just…I can't even find the words."

"I can find some," she said quietly, leaning her head against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Deacon. I didn't realize how much all of this keeping quiet was hurting you. Us."

"I'm sorry too," he said. "You know I'm not good at talking about….stuff. And I guess I've been feeling like you're still holding back a little," he said slowly. "And not just because of the press garbage."

"I'm not trying to," she whispered. "I'm just…."

"Scared."

"Yes." She finally said it out loud. "Scared. I'm scared it's going to stop working."

She had clung to Luke like a life raft for all those months because she was scared. Afraid to jump on that ship with Deacon. Afraid to know if they'd drown or swim. Choosing the safe man over the right man. She'd been so wrong. He _was _the safe man. And the right one.

"Listen," he said, taking her hands in his. "There's no rule that says you can't be. It's not like I don't think about that stuff once in awhile too."

She closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "How do you know?"

His eyes crinkled into that smile. "Cuz I love you, Ray and you love me. That's the one thing that's never stopped working, even if we pretended it did for a long time. And it won't. We work, you and me."

She laughed softly. "We do, don't we."

He leaned forward and pulled her to him and kissed her hard. "Come on. Let's go find our girls and go home."

#########################################

The sun was shining through the windows.

Deacon rolled over, but her spot was empty.

Rayna came out of the bathroom in just a robe, fresh from a shower, toweling her hair. "Come on, babe. Time to get going," she said. "I was thinking it would be fun to take the girls out for brunch."

"That'd be nice," he said, leaning against the pillows. Just watching her. Loving her.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I think it would."

#######################################

She was anxious, walking into the restaurant, he could tell. But it was different.

There was pointing. Lots of smiles. And not one single camera flash in their faces, besides a few people with cell phones at a distance.

Once Rayna figured this out, she relaxed considerably. Even the girls noticed.

"Hey, they're actually leaving us alone!" Daphne exclaimed.

"This isn't so bad at all." She said with a smile, her arm laced through his. And ring on her finger where it belonged.

Deacon lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "It sure isn't."

He could see what Rayna couldn't. They were giving them their respect. They were giving _her _their respect. Because she had demanded it and earned it.

Just one more thing that made him love her even more.

"Mom, look!" Maddie picked up the morning newspaper as the waitress led them to a table. "You guys made the paper."

Rayna groaned. "I don't even want to look. Please, before breakfast even. Let's not ruin it."

Deacon took it from Maddie and scanned it over. "It's not so bad, Ray," he said. "Not so bad at all. And Ryker wrote it. Hell he might be one of the only reviewers I've ever liked."

She read it over. Most of the article, thankfully, was a review of the show, and 3 paragraphs for Deacon's set. She was relieved to see that, because she hadn't wanted at all singing with him to take away from attention of that.

When she got to the last paragraph, she read

_The best surprise of the night was an appearance by the Opry's reigning Queen of Country Rayna Jaymes singing a duet with Mr. Claybourne. It was like a flashback in time, but then again we've all thought for years that those two belonged to each other. It's a shame it took them so long to figure out what the rest of us knew all along. Please don't ask questions. Don't call them Deyna or Jaymesbourne, or any of that stuff, Ms. Jaymes says. Just call them happy and that'll be downright perfect. _

And it just about was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Decided to add another little chapter here, had this idea hanging around for awhile and I couldn't decide exactly where to put it. **

"You girls happy to be going back to school today?" Rayna said as she handed lunchboxes and backpacks across the counter. The holidays had been wonderful, but she was rather glad the chaos was over.

"For sure," Maddie agreed as she rose to put her plate in the sink. "I missed my friends a ton."

Daphne was more quiet than usual as she picked at her eggs.

Rayna wondered if it was sparked by the conversation last night over dinner about the last half of the tour coming up at the end of January. Neither one of the girls had looked too enthused to be reminded that she was leaving again for another few months, but Daphne especially hadn't taken it to well.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asked.

"I don't want you to leave again," Daphne blurted out.

"Oh honey, I know, but we talked about this, remember? There's 40 more tour dates, and then I'm gonna be done for awhile," Rayna said reassuringly. "And you'll be fine. You'll be so busy with your music lessons, and your dance classes, that it'll go by real fast."

"It won't be fine," Daphne said stubbornly, setting her mouth in a hard line. "Maddie will be here with Deacon and I'll be stuck with Dad all by myself."

Deacon came into the kitchen then, hearing the tail end of the conversation.

Rayna exchanged a distressed look with him. They had talked all this over thoroughly, girls included, and she still did have a commitment to those last three months of the tour. Her fans were counting on it, the venues already booked and tickets already selling. She didn't like leaving any more than the girls did, but it was a part of being in the industry and they all knew it. "Maddie's still going to go to Dad's with you, honey. And you can come here too."

"Of course," Deacon said easily, reaching over to tug one of Daphne's braids. "We can work on those guitar lessons you've been wanting."

This didn't seem to soothe her much.

"Bye, see ya later." Maddie had a hug for both her parents. Much to Rayna's secret delight she'd been a lot less stingy with those hugs lately. Then again, ever since her and Deacon had gotten back together before Thanksgiving, Maddie was the happiest Rayna had ever seen her.

Daphne, on the other hand, was still scowling when she shrugged on her coat, grabbed her backpack and slipped by Rayna to head out the door for school.

"No hug for your mama?"

The door slammed.

Nope. Not today.

##################################

Daphne's rare outburst bothered her. It was still bothering her a few hours later as she sat at her desk in her home office. Deacon was sitting at the computer next to her, headphones on, listening to a stack of demos for potential new artists Bucky had sent over.

"Well that one sucks," he muttered, taking out the cd and tossing it into the discard pile.

"It's the right thing to do, right?" Rayna said, thinking out loud. "I committed to all those dates."

"Yep," he said, moving onto the next one in the stack.

"I don't know," Rayna said, fretting. "I mean, the last six months has been such a mess, and we're just finally getting it all sorted out….I feel awful leaving them again. Deacon, are you even listening?"

"I'm listening," he said patiently, still rifling through the stack. "Hey, you know this guy isn't half bad."

"Deacon…."

He sighed, slipped off the headphones, put down the stack of cds, and pulled her out of the chair and onto his lap. "Listen. Honestly? I don't like the idea of all of us being split up again either. But you do what you gotta do, darlin. We'll make it work. And the girls will be okay. Between me and Teddy, I think we can handle it."

She smirked. "That just sounds so odd coming from you, considering you spent 20 years ready to kill each other."

"Like I said. Do what you gotta do." Deacon grinned, and pulled her in close for a kiss.

"You know," she murmured between kisses. "The solution for this entire problem would be to bring you and the girls out on tour with me. We've done it before. Get a tutor for the girls and all."

"I'd be okay with that," he said, his mouth turning up into a grin.

"I'm sure you would," she laughed softly. The look in his eyes said he wouldn't mind it one bit. "But after living on the road with three females for 12 weeks, you might change your mind."

"Baby as long as it's you and me and the girls, I can deal with anything."

"That settles it, then," she said, pleased. "Let's start making some plans."

She couldn't wait for the girls to get home from school to tell them.

##########################################

Maddie walked in at four o clock as usual, but Rayna was surprised to see there was no little sister two steps behind her. "Hey, Mom."

"Where's Daphne?"

Maddie paused as she dropped her backpack and reached for an apple from the fruit bowl, "she's not here? I couldn't find her, I assumed she walked home without me."

"No, she's not here."

Rayna was on the phone with Teddy immediately, had she forgotten a dance lesson, a choir practice? It only took minutes to come to the conclusion that Daphne was definitely missing.

Deacon walked in the front door then, when she was trying not to panic as she called the school. "What's going on?" He asked, alarmed at her unusual state of panic. It took a lot to get Rayna rattled, and she was definitely rattled.

Maddie was teary-eyed. "Daphne didn't come home from school. It's my fault, I thought she went ahead so I didn't wait around."

"It's not your fault, Maddie," Rayna said calmly. She grabbed the class list out of the kitchen drawer, ripped it in half, and shoved one half at Deacon and one half at Maddie while she dialed with the other hand. "Start calling those people. Daddy's on his way over. I'm calling the police."

She outwardly was trying not to panic, especially for Maddie's sake, but her inward panic alarm was going off big-time. As a person who was in the public eye all the time, and with Teddy's status as the mayor, kidnapping didn't want to be her first thought, and she cursed her mind for even going there.

Within an hour, her living room was chaos. Teddy had gone to retrace Daphne's usual path home from school, Tandy had taken Maddie out to drive around and look, along with a whole slew of cop cars and officers searching as well.

They wanted to issue an amber alert.

_God, this is really happening_, she thought miserably. _My baby._ _Where is she? _

"Ms. Jaymes can you tell me what she was wearing?" The officer asked. "So we can include it in the description?"

"I don't know," she practically yelled. "I don't remember what she was just wearing. Please, just find her!"

Deacon could see Rayna was dangerously close to losing it. "Hey, c' mere." He pulled her away from the mess for a second.

Her eyes were blurred by unshed tears. "Where could she be, Deacon? She's only 10, anyone could've…"

"Listen," he said quietly, firmly, taking her face in his hands. "They're gonna find her, Ray. Just take a breath and let's think. She was pretty upset this morning, so she's probably just mad and hiding somewhere. I think the question is where."

"You really think that's all it is? "

"Yeah, I do."

Deacon turned to the officers. "She was wearing her school uniform, it looks exactly like that," he pointed to Maddie's outfit, "and she had her hair in two braids. She has a pink backpack and a purple jacket."

Rayna had no idea how he ever could think clearly enough to remember that, but she forced herself to take a deep breath, and realized that he was probably right and hopefully she was just hiding.

"Listen," Deacon said turning back to her. He took her hands in his. "I'm gonna go drive around," he said softly. "We're gonna find her. I'm sure she's fine. You just stay here in case she shows up or anything happens. Okay?"

"Okay," she murmured.

########################################

Deacon got in his truck and headed out to drive around. He started at the girls' school, trying to think like a 10 yr old. He'd been trying like hell not to show Rayna, but inwardly he was panicking just as much. The temperature was relatively decent for December, in the 50s. If she was outside somewhere, she wasn't freezing. But it would be dark soon, and it would get a lot colder. Daphne had been missing now for two hours. A lot could happen to a little girl wandering around on her own in two hours.

He drove down every single side street, even stopped at the ice cream shop he passed, the candy store, the bookstore, but no one had seen a little blonde-haired girl with two braids in her hair.

From her school he didn't figure she could have possibly walked more than a few miles.

Where would she have gone?

And suddenly it hit him. He whipped a u-turn and headed back in the other direction. They'd been searching between school and Rayna's. Maybe they were looking on the wrong side of the three mile radius.

_Please,_ he thought as he parked his truck in front of his own house, and practically ran through the backyard. _Please let me be right._

They hadn't spent much time here lately, usually only when the girls were at Teddy's, but Daphne had been here enough and it was close enough that he bet she'd found a safe place to hide.

Sure enough, Deacon pushed open the door of the garden shed in the backyard and Daphne was there, asleep on an old wooden bench in the corner, curled up into a ball using her backpack as a pillow.

He let out a sigh of relief he hadn't even realized he was holding.

"Hey," he crouched over and gently shook her awake.

Daphne blinked and looked up at him. Her cheeks were tearstained.

She sat up, looking ashamed. "How did you know I was here?"

"Just a good guess," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I was just….mad at everybody. I was just gonna stay here for a few minutes, but then I fell asleep."

"You got a lot of people worried about you right now," he said quietly. "How bout we get you back to your mama."

Daphne just started to cry, so Deacon scooped her up in his arms and carried her out, towards his truck.

As soon as she was settled into the passenger seat, he slammed the door and reached for his phone.

"Ray? I got her." His voice cracked a little. He hadn't really realized how scared he'd been until that moment. "Yeah, she's fine. We're comin home."

###############################

Daphne was real quiet on the drive back.

Rayna's words echoed in Deacon's head. _Don't yell at her. We can do that later. I just want to hug her is all. _

"You know, you scared your mama real bad," He said to Daphne, proceeding with caution. "And me too. She's got half of the state of Nashville out looking for you."

Daphne jerked her head up guiltily. "Really?"

"Yes really. You wanna tell me why you took off like that?"

She shook her head.

"You're not _my _dad."

"That doesn't mean I don't care about you. It doesn't mean you're not just as important as Maddie."

Daphne sighed heavily and stared out the window. "Everything's different now."

"You mean because Luke isn't around anymore and I am?" Of both girls, Deacon knew Maddie might have never grown accustomed to having Luke around, but Daphne had. The way he saw it, he was figuring Daphne might have seen Luke as evening out the score a little. Maddie had two dads, and now she would too. Only Rayna's broken engagement had changed all that.

"Sort of," she muttered. "It's like you and Mom and Maddie are a family now and I'm left out of it. And now mom's leaving again."

It hurt, to hear her say that, but he could see where the kid was coming from. Everything in the last year had been mostly about Maddie's adjustment to having another dad, and Rayna's launching of her new label, and then her engagement to Luke. Daphne had gotten overlooked. Everyone had assumed she was fine, and obviously not.

They were all at fault there.

Deacon sighed. "I'm really sorry we made you feel that way. I guess that's something we have to work on together, huh? All of us. You know I'm not supposed to let it slip yet, but your mom wants to take you and Maddie on tour with her for this round. What would you think of that?"

Daphne looked surprised. "Really?"

"Really. You know she never wants to leave you and Maddie, sometimes it just works out that way. It's real hard on her too. She misses you like crazy."

"Are you coming with us if we go?"

"Is that okay with you if I do?"

Daphne didn't say much, but he thought he saw a smile on the edges of her little mouth.

"How about a burger before we head home, huh? I bet you're starving."

"That would be great, I am SO hungry!"

_That's the happy girl I know. _

"One more thing," Deacon said. "How come you went there? To my house?"

Daphne shrugged. "I remember playing there with Maddie when we were little. We used to play house in that shed and you and mom used to sit on the back porch and write songs."

"You remember that?"

"Yeah," Daphne scrunched up her eyebrows, recalling. "I remember cuz sometimes we used to lay in the grass and close our eyes and listen to you guys sing. And sometimes you'd let Maddie play your guitars. I used to think it was a dream, until Maddie told me she remembers it too."

"I think you were only about 4 that summer. That was a long time ago."

He remembered that too.

_He sat_ _on the wooden chair on the back porch with a guitar in his hand, Rayna sat on the steps in front of him with a pad of paper in her hand and a pen in her mouth. _

_ It was cute, the way she scrunched up her eyebrows when she concentrated real hard. He'd always thought that. Some things never changed. _

_ But some things did. It was a cautious thing, writing with Rayna again, and they'd just got back into it this last few months. It had been a few years, since Daphne was born that they'd written anything together. Everything was different now, her being married and all. Sure he'd been back in her band for 8 years but playing together was one thing. Writing was a completely different one. This summer had been a good one, she was off tour and at home, trying to crank out songs for the new album that was supposed to come out early next year. _

_ And yet it felt so much the same, how they could still string it all together. They'd probably written half a dozen or more decent songs in these little weekly sessions. He'd written with a lot of people in the last 8 years, but it was never the same as with her. _

_ "Got any thoughts what you want to write about?" He asked, strumming a riff he'd had in his head for the last couple days. The songs of the past always got requested at her shows, but they couldn't write em that way anymore, the way they used to starting out on the floor in front of that old leather couch, and endin up in the bedroom before they even got to the last verse. _

_ Nope, there'd be no more of _those _songs. _

_ "Mom!" _

_ The girls brought them both back to reality. _

_ Her girls. _

_ Somehow, it was her getting pregnant with Daphne five years ago that really put the nail in the coffin for him. Up until that point, he'd still had some hope in the back of his mind that this marriage to Teddy wasn't really all it looked like, but Daphne meant, well, it meant she'd loved the guy enough to have two daughters with him. _

_ He regretted it a little bit now. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, having a family. He sure as hell hadn't ever had a good example, but wasn't that what they preached to you all about in AA, that you had to be present of the mistakes that the ones before you made, so you didn't make the same ones? _

_ He'd made a lot of the same ones. He knew that now. Couldn't change em, just learn from them. _

_ Sometimes on afternoons like this, when her girls were running around in the yard and they were sitting on the backporch making music as easy as breathing, it was easy to pretend, just for a little while, that all this could have been his. _

_ "I'm thirsty," Maddie said, flopping onto the grass on her back. _

_ Her little sister, always the copycat, dropped down next to her. "Me too." _

_ He grinned, watching them. Those two little things brought more laughter to his life than he had ever imagined. Maddie was quieter, almost intense. Always listening to the music, always asking some question that would catch you offguard and let you know she was doing a lot of thinking in that little head of hers. The little one, Daphne, she was different. More like Rayna, he thought. A little sassy, and full of giggles at any given moment. _

_ Rayna smiled with affection at her girls. She looked at Deacon and stood up. "You got lemonade in the fridge?" _

_ "Like always. Grab that bag of cookies next to the microwave too." _

_ Rayna went into the house, and came back a few minutes later with the requested goodies on a tray for the girls. Just a few minutes and they were recharged again, running off to play in the empty garden shed at the back of his property. _

_ Him and Rayna were left alone on the porch again. _

_ Rayna took a deep breath. "So Maddie said something last week to Teddy about us coming over here. He doesn't like it. Thinks we should stick to rehearsing at Soundcheck." _

_ He'd figured that was coming eventually. It was too easy, and nothing good ever came easy. _

_ "I guess if that's what you want," he said evenly. _

_ She sighed. "It's not what I want, Deacon, it's just….not worth the battle, I guess." _

_ "Yeah. It's okay, I get it." He picked up his guitar again. "What you want to write, probably something happy, right?" _

_ "Don't change the subject." _

_ He shot her a look, kind of a sad smile. "The subject got changed the day you married someone else, Rayna. Time to dust off my boots and move on." _

Deacon shook away the memory now. Sure as it was, that was the day they'd written "Dusty Boots" but he never really had moved on. He'd known from the moment he met Rayna almost three decades ago that she'd only ever be the one for him.

And now here they were, years later, and somehow it had all worked out in the end.

##################################

He ran through a drive-thru to grab Daphne the promised burger, and then they headed for home. As they pulled into the driveway, he looked over at Rayna's daughter sitting in his passenger seat.

They just sat there for a second, looking at the house all lit up like the Fourth of July.

She looked a little pale and pretty darn scared seeing all those cop cars parked in front of the house with their blinking red and blue lights on.

_I bet she'll never do that again_, he couldn't help but think.

"You think Mom's gonna be mad," Daphne whispered.

"Yep," he said. "But you know what? First she's gonna hug the life out of you and thank god you're alright. Because she loves you, and that's the most important thing. We both do."

Daphne nodded, and swallowed hard.

"Are you and Mom gonna get married?" She asked tentatively.

"I think some day we might. In a year or so. Would that be okay with you?"

She nodded. "Then it'll be like I have two dads too, right? Like Maddie."

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "I guess it will."

They got out of the truck and started walking toward the house. Rayna opened the front door, and covered her heart with her hands when she saw the two of them. Maddie was right behind her.

"Mommy, I'm so sorry," Daphne started to sniffle again. "I was just mad and sad, and I didn't meant to make you worry, and Deacon found me…."

"It's okay," Rayna murmured, scooping her up and hugging her as tight as she'd ever hugged anyone in her life. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm just glad you're okay." She couldn't help the tears of relief that crept out of her eyes. Maddie had to get in on the hug too, and then Deacon wrapped his arms around all of them.

A little while later after Rayna finally would let go of Daphne long enough to let her breathe, as they were walking in the house, Daphne turned to her mom. "I'm really glad Deacon's gonna be in our family, Mom. But he kind of always has been anyway, right?"

Her heart melted, and Deacon's eyes didn't look too dry either. "Yeah," she said, reaching for his hand. "Always has been, always will be. Family is forever, sweetheart."

Daphne headed for the living room with Maddie close behind where Teddy was standing among a collection of uniformed officers, leaving them standing alone in the shadow of the front hall.

Rayna sighed with relief, and Deacon wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. "I've never been so scared in my life," she murmured. "How did you know where to find her?"

"Oh you know…." He said nonchalantly, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "It's a dad thing."

"Oh it is, huh?" She couldn't hide a little smile of her own as she leaned back in his arms and looked up at him. The man she'd loved since she was sixteen years old. All the reasons she'd fallen in love with him in ten minutes, they were still there, plus a million more. "You know what, Deacon? You do this dad thing pretty damn good."

"You know what, Ray?" He said quietly, his blue eyes earnest. "I used to be scared to death of it. Turns out it's the second easiest thing I've ever done in my life."

She laughed softly. "The second, huh? What's the first?"

"Loving you."


End file.
